Nonsense Upon Stilts

I rarely make it to Brooklyn, but I like the few areas there that I’ve been. It’ s a nicer place than blogs make it sound (I think, judging by friends who live there and love it), but some of its residents sound pretty freaking nuts. I laughed pretty hard when I read this post on Gothamist. The Double Windsor, a Winsor Terrace bar, has banned the entry of people under 21 after 5 pm. And some parents are upset about that. Why??  That’s the whole point of bars; it’s happy fun adult time, with alcohol. I feel like the mouth of hell is about to swallow us all or something, because for once all of the Gothamist comments were 1) on topic and 2) coherent.

Why don’t I feel bad about this? Kids get everything. They get toys, they take naps, and they don’t have to pay taxes. Can’t we grown-ups have something of our own?

Jack McFadden, a man who cause an uproar in Park Slope when his restaurant, Union House, banned strollers thinks this makes perfect sense. And he’s the father of a 10-month-old baby. He even said one of the smartest things I think I’ve ever read: “If people would just use some common sense and consideration, there wouldn’t have to be rules.” I totally agree with this, as it is applicable in so many situations. Sadly though, common sense just isn’t as common as one might hope.

As is to be expected, there are some parents aren’t happy about it. I don’t get it. I never went to a bar until I was old enough to drink. It wasn’t a big deal. When my parents went out to n0-kids-allowed type places, I’d go visit with a relative or a babysitter would come over to my house. Babysitters! Remember those?? Stimulate the local teenage economy and hire a babysitter already!

No Comments | In: Amusing, Food and Drink, Seriously?, This is why we can't have nice things | tags: Babies, Bars, Facepalm, Windsor Terrace, Yay for Common Sense. | #

As loath as I am to agree with the New York Post on anything at all, I have to say that they got this story right. Why is Mayor Bloomberg’s technology commissioner claiming to live in Florida full time? And to save $3,000 a year in taxes? That’s insane. She makes over $200,000 a year by herself, and I’m sure her husband has income, too. There’s no excuse to be so cheap. Of course, today her husband informed the good people of Florida that she is not, in fact, a full-time resident, and hasn’t been since 2001. It’s not as though this was a case of oversight; they actively claimed that she still lived year round in Florida; she had a Florida driver’s license; and she voted in Florida elections. Seriously???

Was it worth the talk of fraud and loss of reputation? I will never understand politicians.

No Comments | In: Boo!, Facepalm, Government/Law, Horrible horrible people, Politics, Seriously? | tags: Carole Post, Commissioner of the Department of Information Technology and Telecommunications, Department of Information Technology and Telecommunications, Florida, Fraud, Lies Lies Lies, New York City, Politics. | #

I’m sure that many drivers have sat alone in their cars in bumper-to-bumper traffic and looked longingly over at the cars whizzing along in the HOV lane. They probably wished for a friend or coworker to be in the car with them, both for conversational purposes, and also to get in that fast-moving lane. They maybe even thought that, in a pinch, a doll or mannequin would do. The difference between these imaginary drivers of mine and Kathleen Frascinella is that she actually went that extra step and put a mannequin in her front passenger seat so that she could use the HOV lane. I know that’s an abuse of the system, but that kind of cracks me up. Still, I hate it when people think that rules that others follow shouldn’t have to apply to them, so I think it’s awesome that she got a ticket and 2 point on her license.

Although…who’s to say that the mannequin doesn’t come to life when nobody else is watching??

1 Comment | In: Amusing, Facepalm, This is why we can't have nice things | tags: Facepalm, Strange News. | #

Proving that the law  1) doesn’t have a sense of humor and 2) isn’t always about fairness, a judge who made what I thought was a pretty brilliant ruling was censured yesterday. Los Angeles County Judge Brett Klein ruled that the plaintiffs’ lawyer in a class action case, a man who stood to make $125,000 while the members of the class each received a $10 gift card good only at one store, should also be paid in $10 gift cards. That would have given him 12,500 gift cards for women’s clothing store Windsor Fashions, who also happened to be the defendants in this case. The judge thought that if it was legal and fair for the plaintiffs to have to use gift cards to the defendants’ store in order to receive anything, the same rule should apply to their lawyer. I can see where he was going with this, but apparently the state of California disagreed, and Judge Klein, who’d retired before this decision was made, was found to have shown “a failure to be patient, dignified, and courteous to those appearing before him.”

Bollocks. I think his original ruling was a good one, and that the courts should think about it: if it’s not fair for an attorney to be paid in a way that makes him spend gift cards in order to reap a benefit, then plaintiffs in similar class action cases should not be paid in this way, either. It seems wrong to rule that a company has done something wrong, and then reward it with money received from the plaintiffs’ gift cards. How are you going to teach companies that bad behavior will not be tolerated, when it actually ends up being rewarded?

No Comments | In: Boo!, Government/Law | tags: Facepalm, Judge Brett Klein, Law, Los Angeles. | #

I thought my high school volleyball coach was a jerk (and he was), but at least he never hit any of us in the head with a volleyball.

No Comments | In: Boo!, Just awful | tags: High School, High School Sports, Volleyball. | #

This New York Times article was sent to me by Virginia, my #1, and possibly only, reader (just kidding, Mom). It’s about Michael Hicks, an 8 year old whose name is on a TSA watch list. (Hey, TSA: Good job on improving the way that travelers’ names are checked against government watch lists.) He is scrutinized and subject to extra searches when he flies. Not his parents. Just him. They patted him down when he was 2 years old. Who could do that? How does that make any sense?

I laughed when I read the article, because it is ridiculous to think that any rational person could look at an 8 year old and suspect him of plotting some sort of aviation-related terrorism. But then I got serious; it’s awful when you think of what this child and his family have gone through. It’s even worse when you think that he’s been getting this treatment since the age of 2. I know what toddlers practice their own special brand of terror (my nephew’s nickname isn’t Satanski for nothing), but seriously? This just illustrates the complete lack of logic behind TSA policies, and shows why the TSA justifiably gets such a bad rap.

Also, I was terrified by the story of  Mario Labbé, an adult male with the same problem of having his name on a watch list. He was always questioned when he flew, and they always asked him the same thing. He got sick of it, and was able to fix the entire solution by changing his name. To François Mario Labbé. That’s it? That’s all it took? He changed his name just a little, and all the hassles ended? Although he shouldn’t have been on the list in the first place, I’d feel better knowing that it would take more than a trip to the municipal building for people whose travel plans raise justifiable concerns to evade heightened scrutiny. Where’s the followup? The intergovernmental agency cooperation?

The TSA was created in a hurry to allay people’s fears after 9/11, not out of careful strategy. I’m sure that a lot of TSA workers do want to help make air travel safe, but the system also seems to involve a worrying amount of pseduo-science (Only people with something to hide don’t look you in the eyes), racial profiling (Hey, you there, in the brown skin…), and plain retardedness (What were you planning to do with 101 ml of liquid, comrade??? The limit is 100!). For all that some justified people are pulled out of line or questioned further, it is inarguable that a lot falls through the cracks.

The TSA is probably not a good organization to work for. Their mission is vague, scary as all get out, and potentially dangerous. The Transportation Security Officer, which is the main point of TSA contact for many air travelers, is the poorest paying position in the organization. These factors naturally limit the pool of applicants, and thinking for a moment about who that leaves to work for the TSA explains a lot about people’s perceptions of TSA officers.  Kip Hawley, a former head of the TSA, famously called airport screening positions a dead end job. Yeah, no kidding.

Reading and thinking about the TSA is depressing the crap out of me, so I’ll stop now.

No Comments | In: Boo!, Facepalm, Government/Law, Seriously?, Travel, WTF?? | tags: Air Travel, Department of Homeland Security, Facepalm, Ridiculous, Scary, Security, Travel, TSA. | #

(I don’t know why I find all of this so entertaining; I don’t even watch any of these shows, although I may catch a particularly entertaining monologue or interview if somebody posts it online AND sends me the link to it.)

So it should be clear by now that NBC totally effed up the way they handled the Jay Leno Show/Tonight Show thing, right? They forced Jay Leno into retirement, then placated him with a show in prime time. They promised Conan O’Brien that he could replace Jay and gave him the Tonight Show. In order to make room for Leno, they canceled Southland, which I’ve never seen but is rumored to be excellent, and moved other shows from the 10 o’clock hour to earlier, less permissive time slots. I mean, the man left New York (current temperature 31 degrees) and moved to that wasteland called Los Angeles (current temperature 63 degrees); if that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.

Southland’s Ben McKenzie on the Jay Leno Show: I’m glad it failed.

Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, and Craig Ferguson: Various awesome car- and chin-related Leno and NBC slapdowns.

Even Hitler is upset about this:

Wow. The only person who is currently getting more thoroughly trashed in late night than Jay Leno is Carson Daly.

Update: There are even more hilarious videos from last night. Gawker.tv organized them, so I don’t have to. Also, Carson Daly is still getting worked over by absolutely everybody.

No Comments | In: Amusing, Facepalm, Television, This is why we can't have nice things | tags: Carson Daly, Conan O'Brien, Craig Ferguson, David Letterman, Facepalm, Hitler, Jay Leno, Late Night Television, NBC, Television, The Jay Leno Show, The Tonight Show. | #

Dating site BeautifulPeople.com just shoved a bunch of its members back into the rating process, after other “vigilant members” noticed that these people had gained weight. That seems pretty cold to me, but what does the site’s owner have to say?

“As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld,” said site founder Robert Hintze. “Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.”

Jesus. That’s cold. The professional first half of that quote left me completely unprepared for the part where he thought that using the term “fatties” was a good idea.

No Comments | In: Boo!, Just awful, Seriously? | tags: BeautifulPeople.com, Pettiness, Robert Hintze, Standards of Beauty, Web Sites. | #

Wow. Lawyer Andy Vickery hates homelessness so much, he’s suing a homeless shelter located in the church across the street from his office. His claim that he is suing because the shelter’s clients are disruptive, driving down property values, and are scaring off business would be easier to believe if he was only asking for the shelter to be shut down, or even for increased measures to control the homeless population who visit the shelter. The $250,000 that Vickery has requested makes him look ever so slightly like a greedy douchebag.

No Comments | In: Boo!, Facepalm, Horrible horrible people, Just awful | tags: Andy Vickery, Homeless people, Homeless shelters, Homelessness, Lawyers, Texas. | #

Just a quick followup to yesterday’s post about Balloon Boy and TSA Mom. Stories about Falcon Heene’s ordeal seeming faked grew louder and louder as the weekend progressed. Gawker posted a weird interview with Robert Thomas, a student who helped the boy’s father, Richard Heene, with his balloon stuff earlier this year. It’s not definitive proof of a hoax on the part of the Heenes (as it’s billed), but it shows how much of a messed up famewhore Richard Heene. As I said yesterday, that’s nothing that couldn’t have been determined by his two appearances on the reality show Wife Swap. Just an hour ago, Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden, who earlier in the weekend said that this was not being considered a hoax, reversed that, and announced the following possible charges against the Heene parents:

Conspiracy
Contributing to the delinquency of a minor (Class 4 felony)
False reporting to authorities (Class 3 Misdemeanor)
Attempting to influence a public servant (Class 4 Felony)

Nic, the woman who wrote of being detained and having her child taken from her by the TSA, has posted a response to those who have questioned her story in light of the release of CCTV footage by the TSA. The post is entitled “My Apologies,” although it seems more defensive than apologetic. She maintains that the video does not show everything that happens, and that at some point, her son was separated from her by the TSA. She says that she doesn’t know why the video doesn’t show things that she stated happened, and I hate to speculate, but I have a theory, and it rhymes with frying….mmmm, frying. I am so hungry right now.

No Comments | In: Boo!, Facepalm, Government/Law, Horrible horrible people, Just awful, Things that make me go hmm | tags: Balloon Boy, Facepalm, Falcon Heene, Gawker, Hoaxes, Nic, Richard Heene, TSA, TSA Mom. | #