Nonsense Upon Stilts » Horrible horrible people

I’m never going to be able to move and/or have children

Nicole — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 03:10:07 +0000

I really love living in the New York metro area, but it’s so expensive here. I have lived in much cheaper places and loved it (Montreal, how I miss thee!), but this is always going to be my home. I would love to be able to live somewhere else for a while, not only to give my wallet a bit of a break, but also because I like to experience new people and places. The South seems like a worthwhile region to consider, since it’s cheap and I have a lot of relatives there, but it’s stories like this one that make me believe that maybe I’m better off staying here and paying the Northeast Premium.

Why would a middle school arrange the student elections so that only students of certain races can hold office? What student government positions are available to those children who are neither white nor black? How could anybody think that this would be okay? This is why people still find it okay to make jokes about Mississippi.

As somebody on Gawker pointed out, it’s good to see that the school practices what it preaches (scroll down)…

Do not, under any circumstances, marinate your cat in your trunk

Nicole — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 13:50:12 +0000

That’s why God invented back porches. Just kidding. Planning to kill and cook your cat for being “possessive, greedy and wasteful” (aka, a cat) seems more than a little bit insane. Just take it back to the ASPCA, dude. Also, marinating an animal before removing its fur? Just plain nasty. Jeez.

Nicole — Thu, 06 May 2010 16:10:16 +0000

Wow, I’m really glad that, despite being in sincere pain, David Boreanaz is soldiering on through the tough times that he has experienced since it became common knowledge that he cheated on his wife (there have been rumors about his infidelity forever, but he had to come clean in order to head off an extortion attempt). A lot of guys wouldn’t be able to keep going. They might even miss the cut at Quail Hollow. But David, well, he’s a trooper. He’s not going to let the man (or woman) bring him down! This kind of internal fortitude must be why he was able to so convincingly play first a vampire, then an FBI agent, for all these years.

I had the hugest crush on him in high school, but I’m happy it died a natural death before this happened.

Nicole — Tue, 04 May 2010 02:42:36 +0000

If you’re in a restaurant and your 2-year-old drinks alcohol that you ordered, and was placed on your table with your party’s other drinks, it’s your fault. Not the waiter’s, not the restaurant’s. How could these people even kind of think that their reactions were reasonable? If I were that restaurant, I would have banned them for being negligent parents, crappy customers, and pretty useless in general.

I’ve just decided that May is going to be Personal Responsibility Month on this blog.

Let it go, you lost

Nicole — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 03:29:19 +0000

Dear Bob McDonnell,

If you would stop bending over backwards to commemorate a violent, racist legacy that has been tirelessly whitewashed (yeah, I said it) and romanticized, you wouldn’t have to apologize for omitting any related mention of slavery.

You’re welcome.

I googled Confederacy links to include in this post, but many of them made me want to vomit, weep, or perhaps vomit while weeping, so I’ll just skip those today.

No child left behind

Nicole — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 01:34:10 +0000

Except this one. Oy.

Not cool

Nicole — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:28:25 +0000

As loath as I am to agree with the New York Post on anything at all, I have to say that they got this story right. Why is Mayor Bloomberg’s technology commissioner claiming to live in Florida full time? And to save $3,000 a year in taxes? That’s insane. She makes over $200,000 a year by herself, and I’m sure her husband has income, too. There’s no excuse to be so cheap. Of course, today her husband informed the good people of Florida that she is not, in fact, a full-time resident, and hasn’t been since 2001. It’s not as though this was a case of oversight; they actively claimed that she still lived year round in Florida; she had a Florida driver’s license; and she voted in Florida elections. Seriously???

Was it worth the talk of fraud and loss of reputation? I will never understand politicians.

Do something nice for the people of Haiti

Nicole — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:36:30 +0000

This article lists some of ways that you can help the people of Haiti. It seems obvious, but I’m surprised that they left off the Red Cross’s web site. You can make a general donation here, or text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10 via the Red Cross.

I know that not everybody is going to donate. Maybe you didn’t know how to (hint: look up). Maybe you’re broke or on a tight budget or just focusing your donation efforts elsewhere. Whatever your reason is, I hope it’s not because you’re as big a jackass as Pat Robertson.

Ya think??

Nicole — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:10:06 +0000

“We tend to believe Zhang’s death was caused primarily by unknown health problems. But there’s still a possibility that the freezing contributed to his dea th.“

Wow. To call this sentence an understatement would be doing a disservice to all the mere understatements people have uttered throughout recorded history. I mean, it doesn’t even assume as much responsibility as that classic, passive-voiced cop-out, “Mistakes were made.”

Also, happy Monday!

NIMBY-ism at its finest

Nicole — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:50:32 +0000

Wow. Lawyer Andy Vickery hates homelessness so much, he’s suing a homeless shelter located in the church across the street from his office. His claim that he is suing because the shelter’s clients are disruptive, driving down property values, and are scaring off business would be easier to believe if he was only asking for the shelter to be shut down, or even for increased measures to control the homeless population who visit the shelter. The $250,000 that Vickery has requested makes him look ever so slightly like a greedy douchebag.