Nonsense Upon Stilts

An 8 year old kid + a loaded Uzi = Bad, bad things

Nicole — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:37:52 +0000

A Massachusetts sporting club is donating $10,000 to children’s charities as part of a deal settling criminal charges in the death of an 8-year-old boy who accidentally shot himself in the head with an Uzi during a gun fair.

There were so many points of failure in this story (the organizers’, the former police chief’s, the gun club’s, the father’s, and the poor 15 year old boy who was supervising Christopher) that it’s hard to know where to begin casting the blame. Christopher Bizilj deserved so much better than what happened to him. Mistakes and lapses in judgment happen all the time, but I honestly don’t know how his mother, Suzanne Bizilj can stand the knowledge that when their child was handed a loaded Uzi, her husband was preparing to take pictures, rather than to help his son hold the firearm.

Presented without further comment

Nicole — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:54:15 +0000

The kind of stealth “crime” I can get behind

Nicole — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:35:07 +0000

I think the idea of guerilla knitting/crocheting is pretty badass. If ever there were a victimless crime, this would be it. I support any sort of vandalism that beautifies the world, instead of assaulting the eyes.

You’re out!

Nicole — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:57:04 +0000

Sorry, I couldn’t resist making a bad pun about the totally awesome news that MLB finally fired some not-so-great umpires. Of course, I’m sure that more went into this decision than their penchant for blowing calls, or else C. B. Bucknor and Angel Hernandez (who somehow wasn’t even mentioned in this article) would have been gone a long time ago. Still, I hope this makes umpires think twice and consult with one another before they start guessing at calls. It’s hard enough to defend baseball to those who think it’s a boring game that goes on for too long, without having to add a disclaimer that umpire errors are expected in baseball. At least, the commissioner thinks so.

Why I’m Weird

Nicole — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:05:17 +0000

Because I would read – and enjoy – a book entitled The Doctoral Candidate and the Ravishing Researcher.

Gossip is bad, mmkay?

Nicole — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 02:32:44 +0000

This is why we shouldn’t spread rumors.

Probably not satire, but who can tell anymore?

Nicole — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:47:31 +0000

The post in question, entitled “Bible Ignored, Trainer Dies,” is about Tillikum, the Sea World killer whale that killed trainer Dawn Brancheau. I somehow think that enacting biblical-style revenge the first time this animal killed a human wouldn’t have been the best idea ever, but I’m just a godless heathen, so what do I know? I think that maybe just never putting her in a position where this could happen again (release or just removal from areas where humans might be) would be enough, but then again I’m just not into killing things.

This week’s Onion headline that is probably true

Nicole — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 13:24:50 +0000

Olympic Athletes Hoping to Exchange Bent-Up Medals for Normal Ones

This week’s real headline that reads like it’s from the Onion

Nicole — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 13:20:18 +0000

German Luger Chips a Tooth Biting His Medal

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids

Nicole — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:34:57 +0000

Finally!! For the suicidal rich person who has everything, who went around the world in 79 days, and who has been flown to space twice, here comes the personal jet pack! Now you can be like the Rocketeer or Elton John and explore the atmosphere all on your own. Although both of these models are still in development, you can stock up now on your most flattering leather and just the right designer goggles (hell, you have time to design your own), so you’ll be ready when these babies finally roll off the assembly line.