Satanski shows us how to march in a parade

My nephew marched with my library during today’s Memorial Day parade. You’d think a 5-year-old wouldn’t be able to teach us anything about how to get from the beginning of the parade to the end. You’d be wrong.

I don’t know why every parade marcher doesn’t break this out at some point during the parade route.

Yay for Sportsmanship!

Awwww. Maybe it’s an excess of girly hormones or something, but this article definitely made me cry. Not mist, not tear up; just flat out cry. What’s not to love about a well-to-do softball team being willing to forfeit so that they could help a disadvantaged team who’d never play learn the game? Awesomely, every adult featured in the article sounds sane, which isn’t always the case with high school sports. I salute the parenting and teaching skills of the adults in all of these kids’ lives, because they seem to be great people, too.

Knitting little nightmares

These knitting dissected-animal thingies are weird, but in the spirit of what I want to knit when I get old and crochety (that not a pun, since I don’t crochet, I just plan to be the grumpiest granny ever). (via Slightly Warped’s Curiosities)

Awesome

Update: The video that I linked to has been removed from Youtube, but f you haven’t seen it, you can do a google search. Suggested keywords: Justin Bieber, door, glass, lolz, etc.

I will go back to ignoring his existence in a minute, but this video of Justin Bieber walking into a glass door is too funny to miss.

I know, I’m a jerk.

Los Suns will come out tomorrow

I think it’s pretty great that the Phoenix Suns will wear jerseys that say “Los Suns” tomorrow, Cinco de Mayo, in light of the awful immigration law that just went into effect in Arizona. I still don’t care who wins that game, but at least now I will remember to look on Thursday to see who won.

But can the Proclaimers do this???

What does Sottish rap sound like? No, that’s not the set-up of a joke. The answer is, “Who really knows?” This interview with Gavin Bain tells the story of two talented Scottish rappers (Bain and Billy Boyd) who were mocked and laughed at when they performed in their native accent. Moving to the United States, inventing new biographies for themselves, and pretending to be American got them the recognition they couldn’t get before. I love a good hoax story, but the underlying prejudice that allowed (forced?) them to do this is pretty awful. Still, I cannot believe how many people they got to believe them. To paraphrase Bain, you can indeed kid a kidder.

My grandma and your grandma, sitting by the fire

Perhaps unintentionally, but definitely awesomely, Jezebel has accrued a lengthy collection of amazing “my grandma…” stories in the comment section of this post. Who knew that Grace Kelly could be such a conversation starter (although she was actually pretty interesting, too)?

The kind of stealth “crime” I can get behind

I think the idea of guerilla knitting/crocheting is pretty badass. If ever there were a victimless crime, this would be it. I support any sort of vandalism that beautifies the world, instead of assaulting the eyes.

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids

Finally!! For the suicidal rich person who has everything, who went around the world in 79 days, and who has been flown to space twice, here comes the personal jet pack! Now you can be like the Rocketeer or Elton John and explore the atmosphere all on your own. Although both of these models are still in development, you can stock up now on your most flattering leather and just the right designer goggles (hell, you have time to design your own), so you’ll be ready when these babies finally roll off the assembly line.

Evgeni Plushenko: The gift that keeps on giving

As if the whole Evgeni Plushenko thing wasn’t funny enough on its own (and it is), the matter has become even more bizarre, what with the involvement of Russian president Vladimir Putin (his public message to Plushenko said “Your silver is as good as gold.“), and Plushenko posting on his web site that he actually won a platinum medal. Oh. My. God. This guy is like the king of all sore losers, even going so far as to create an entirely new medal to commemorate his imagined awesomeness. (via Virginia & Josh)