lolXtians

I don’t often post about knitting on this blog, but I saw something too funny not to share. I just finished making a pair of mittens for my nephew, and the drastic drop in temperature has convinced me that I need to make a pair for myself, too. I wanted to make a pair of convertible mittens, because although traditional mittens are warmer than gloves, they allow for less mobility of the fingers; I would hate to have to pull off a mitten to reach into my bag for something. I was browsing different mittens patterns on Ravelry, and found a reference to “Mittens of the Beast.” I had no idea what that meant, but the name itself is hilarious, so I Googled it and found this blog, which in turn linked to thisgem of a post.

It sounds too stupid to be true, but a Christian knitter saw a pattern for a pair of mittens that included a pocket on top for a Charlie card and wrote a post on the Ravelry forums about how these mittens were for those who had had their skin embedded with RFID chips. She based this incorrect assumption on an unnamed broadcast she claims to have heard that talked specifically about a mittens pattern for those who had been embedded with an RFID chip. One interpretation of the Book of Revelation states that a time will come when people will have to take some form of microchip in order to buy or sell things in this world. This is known as the mark of the beast, and will separate the believers from the hellbait.

Barring how impractical it would be for any municipal transit corp to embed some people with chips when the current crop of plastic cards don’t even work all the time, think about it: why would someone who already had an RFID chip embedded in his or her body need an external pocket in a mitten to somehow speed along the identification process? How could an extra layer of anything between the chip and the sensor be considered as desirable? This is why people should only denigrate technology that they actually understand. This same principle applies to PC users who wander into Mac threads on Engadget. See what I did there?

The thread on the Ravlery forum in which this discussion appeared is still hilarious to read, nearly a year after the fact (you will have to be Ravelry member to read the forum). It’s now closed, but after the first few Reading is Fundamental types agreed with the original poster’s interpretation of the pattern, some cooler heads prevailed and pointed out the exact purpose of the pocket. Of course, idiocy means never having to say you’re sorry, so no genuine apology or expression of remorse followed, although she did admit that she was wrong about this particular heathen pattern. Several people actually pointed out that this kind of thing is why some non-Christians get such a kick out of laughing at illogical, religious Christians, and why evangelicals get such a bad rap.

Anyway, I know that there is a dedicated subset of Christians who live for opportunities to tie the current world to the end of times (DUN DUN DUH!!!!), but these people (and their unbowed descendants) have been wrong for over 150 years, and I’m starting to think they may be trying too hard to connect unrelated things. In order to help them along, I leave them with one bit of advice.The book is called Revelation. I know you’ve been saying it with an extra “s” all these years, mostly because you’ve never read it, but I’m sure that, with practice, you, too can learn the name of your holy book’s final testament. If all else fails, just remember the commercials for 1-800-Mattres: Leave off the last “s” for sinners.

The story behind these mittens amuse me so much that I believe I will be making myself a pair.

How to Use Multiclutch

I think I’ve written before about my love for MultiClutch, but if I didn’t, here goes: I LOVE MULTICLUTCH. It’s a smart piece of software that I am finding invaluable. The only thing is, it doesn’t really come with instructions, and most of the places where I’ve seen it referenced assume that you will know exactly how to use it. This wasn’t the case with me, and maybe it’s not for everybody else, either. I saw that an Engadget reader posted a MultiClutch question in one of the Mac threads there, so I’m going to use his (or her) question as a way to give people an idea of how you would use MultiClutch on further thought, I think that the action requested is impossible, but since I spent all this time explaining how to use MultiClutch, I’ll post the following anyway. I’ll use Firefox as an example.

How to Set Up and Use MultiClutch

1) Open System Preferences and bring up Multiclutch.
2) Note that on the left side of the MultiClutch window, where it says Application, there are Plus and Minus signs on the bottom. Click on the Plus sign, and add Firefox to your Application list.
3) For the sake of this example, let’s say that we want to go to the previous tab when we rotate to the left. On the right side of the window, where it says Gesture, choose “Rotate Left”. Once you’ve done that, go to the Key Command part of that section, where it shows a generic key combination. Click in that box so that you can edit, and then actually type out the keyboard combination that you would normally use to accomplish your desired action in Firefox (CTRL SHIFT TAB). The box should now show the correct key combination in symbol form. Once you’ve done that, close the program, and the next time you open Firefox, that gesture will perform that action.

I will say that I think the closing program thing may only be necessary when configuring non-native programs, because I didn’t have to close Safari to get it to register the gestures I programmed. I hope this helps somebody!

Be still, my Mac-loving heart

So I’m a bit of a fangirl already, and I’ve only had my computer since Friday. That’s right, it got here early. From Shanghai to New Jersey in two(ish, given the extreme time differences) days. Apple keeps going up higher and higher in my book. The learning curve exists, but this system is so LOGICAL, that honestly, after puzzling things out for a bit, you can definitely figure it out yourself.

Case in point: I kept reading about MultiClutch, a piece of software that allows you to use the new trackpad gestures that a built into this generation of MacBooks (and previous gens of MacBooks Air and Pro) and decided to get it. I already like this feature of the MacBook, and wanted to import it to Firefox, the application that I use most frequently. The problem is, MultiClutch came with no instructions. Once installed, it plopped itself in my System Preferences folder and sat there, silently mocking me. Every time I tried to add a gesture, it was assigned the same keystroke combination, which didn’t make any sense to me. How could everything be the product of Command-H? It took a couple of hours of leaving the conundrum simmering on the back burners of my mind, but then I had a DUH moment and realized that there had to be a way to edit the keystroke combo for each gesture. I doubleclicked (won’t give up that one) in that section of the line, and sure enough, it worked! I was able to enter an existing keystroke combination and give the expressed action that keystroke’s functionality. Rock! On!

I’m loving how quickly I was able to transfer all of my songs and playlists from my iPod to my Mac, and how painless it was to then sync said iPod to this MacBook. This was always a particular nightmare on my Windows PCs.

Touching this computer is heaven, it’s smart, it’s stylish, it’s so freaking good-looking that I keep waiting for somebody from Apple to come to my house and demand to have it back.

Plus, I already got geek love from a guy who found out that I own a Mac. Silly, but fun.

Sweet!

My new computer arrived today, three days ahead of schedule. It’s so awesome I can hardly stand it!! I haven’t even done too much exploration, but this machine is so quick, it’s insane. It was no hassle to set up my network, connect to the internet, or set up my programs. Plus, I’m using my same network connection as always, and it’s seriously about 6 times faster than my PC.