Okay, but how do I get him to respond to me?

I’ve pretty much abandoned Twitter, so as not to use up my lifetime allotment of words before I exit my 20s, but I’m almost tempted to go back. Why? Because Isaiah Mustafa, aka the Old Spice Guy, aka Nicole’s Future Husband, sometimes responds to people. Now, looking at the usernames, you’ll see that these people are all celebrities (of both the Real and Internet varieties). It almost makes me want to write my brilliant novel years ahead of schedule, just to bring me to the notice of the Old Spice people, so that I’d get my own personal message.

Almost.