Living the porcine dream

As a rule, I try not to be jealous of infants, despite the fact that there are many people in their lives who consent to entertain them, lug them around, and basically exist just to meet their needs. That’s coupled with an extremely limited ability to communicate, very limited mobility, and no Internet. So I’m on Team Auntie.

Still, when I see pictures like this, it’s difficult to say that I definitely have it better than my Porkchop. The kid just had her first ever bath, and already she knows how to wear her robe and slippers with panache, looking as relaxed as Hef after Jacuzzi time. Ew. Sorry. Anyway, I am at work, not at home, and wearing actual clothing, not a nice fluffy robe.

I’m going to have to call this one a victory for Team Porkchop.

You’re never too young to shill for your family

This is what Porkchop is wearing right now. I didn’t buy it, and it isn’t true, but I do appreciate that she’s already trying to help me protect my interests.

Someone else will put it back

Those are the words that you say to yourself when you’ve put down an unwanted item in a different part of the store than where you found it. Or maybe that’s just me. Anyway, somebody went and (as you do) made a web site about it. There are some pretty hilarious juxtapositions there, and the captions often make them even funnier. The picture below is from that site.

Admit it, every scenario you can come up with for these items being together is pretty damn creepy.

What is “Something I’m going to regret faster than I would have expected,” Alex?

The answer: Legally changing my name to the ridiculous nickname of a television character.

Although Castle has recently supplanted Chuck as my favorite still-running tv show, I am still really enjoying this season of the nerd/spy dramedy. Chuck as both a show and a character had been getting on my nerves ever since the most recent, and probably final, death of Agent Superman (whose actual name I have aleady forgotten).

His abs I remember just fine.

Luckily, the show somehow turned around for me over the last several episodes, and now I’m firmly back on Team Chuck. Even at its worst, Chuck is a smart and funny show that turns its minuscule CGI budget (I guess they’re not too flush after paying all the cool guest stars like Richard Chamberlain, Summer Glau [reunited with her Firefly co-star, the delusional Adam Baldwin], and Nicole’s Future Husband Isaiah Mustafa) into a selling point, instead of a reason for despair.

I guess I’m  not the only one whose life is enriched by Chuck. I watch it for the lulz, and the former Douglas Allen Smith, Jr. watches it for…motivation? I say former because this man’s legal name is now Captain Awesome, which is the nickname of Chuck’s ridiculously good-looking doctor brother-in-law.

Another shirtless/towel pic, merely for comparison's sake. You're welcome, comparison.

I get why this show is so cool and Captain Awesome in particular is pretty special, but why would anybody do this? The real-life Mr. Awesome’s new signature, which is a smiley face bracketed by arrows, has been rejected by his bank because it’s too easy to forge. I can’t even imagine what other stupid consequences he may have to face because of his new name. I think that the judge who granted the name change was smart to allow this; sometimes you have to do really stupid things in order to learn valuable lessons. Unless the world is nicer than I suspect it to be, I give this name change 5 years, tops.

Everything is funnier when you’re sleepy

I watched this video the first time I made a hat with a pompom. I found these women hilarious and, even better, they taught me how to use my pompom maker, which was sadly lacking in instructions. I watched this video again tonight when I went to make a pompom for a new hat I finished. Perhaps because it wasn’t 2 am and I wasn’t coming off the high of finishing a hat that actually fit my head (as opposed to this monstrosity), I found the video a lot less entertaining this time around. Still, Hatapalooza 2010, or whatever I’m calling this thing, is going pretty well. I may actually finish all the hats I intend to make!

A fun way to procrastinate

I always enjoy the lists at Cracked.com. As Nina Garcia would say, I question their taste level, but the articles are usually pretty funny. Here’s the one I’m reading now, on “mind-blowing” coincidences.  I don’t think they’re all THAT amazing, but they’re still amusing to read.

But can the Proclaimers do this???

What does Sottish rap sound like? No, that’s not the set-up of a joke. The answer is, “Who really knows?” This interview with Gavin Bain tells the story of two talented Scottish rappers (Bain and Billy Boyd) who were mocked and laughed at when they performed in their native accent. Moving to the United States, inventing new biographies for themselves, and pretending to be American got them the recognition they couldn’t get before. I love a good hoax story, but the underlying prejudice that allowed (forced?) them to do this is pretty awful. Still, I cannot believe how many people they got to believe them. To paraphrase Bain, you can indeed kid a kidder.