Creepy carousel animals

As promised yesterday, here are pictures of the terrifying hellbeasts that masquerade as harmless carousel animals at Van Saun Park. Click on any photo to see the monster in its full-sized glory.

Mom and EJ were lulled into a false sense of security.

I can’t imagine forcing a kid to ride on this, unless it was some new form of punishment.

Why does this pig/boar need tusks like that?

I don’t understand why somebody thought a child would want to ride on this.

I’m pretty sure that’s not what they mean when they say “seahorse.”

Evil. Pure, flightless, evil.

That ape doesn’t actually look like it originated in hell, but the too-human expression is creepy in its own way.

I’m sure it’s not an accident that all of the truly scary animals had no riders during the three go rounds that I saw. I don’t care how many gaudy, happy colors you put them in, these beasts are just unnatural and wrong, and I can’t see how any child in his or her right mind would actually consent to sitting on them.

Andiamo Benefit Motorcycle Run

My nephew, Satanski, is really into motorcycles. I think a lot of kids really dig them, but he’s been obsessed pretty much since he was old enough to talk and this obsession shows no sign of abating. Lately he’s been acting out quite a bit, and we don’t let him get away with it (think lots and lots of time out), but we try to do nice things for him when he is behaving well. A few weeks ago, we started to see signs for the Andiamo Benefit Motorcycle Run, and knew that we had to take him.

The motorcycle run raises money for various medical and educational charities. Each biker, passenger, or attendee at the after party pays an entry fee. The run raised about $160,000 last year (I haven’t seen figures for this year). I have no idea how I never heard of this run before this year; it’s been going on for nine years now and I’ve been home when it happened for five of those years (nonconsecutively).

The run started in Haworth, which is not even 15 minutes from here, but I’d never even stopped in that town before. It never ceases to amaze me how little I know about New Jersey, for all that I’ve lived here my whole life. I realize how ridiculous it is that I find it weird that some people I know have hardly been out of their home county, and yet there are towns in my own county about which I’m not even slightly knowledgeable (although, in my own defense, there are 70 towns in my county).

I know nothing about motorcycles, but I saw a bunch of different kinds on Sunday. I saw big ones (I heard the word “hog” used), Harleys, pretty red ones that I would ride, tiny things that looked like they’d get lapped by everybody else, and even a couple of bikes with sidecars! It was pretty awesome, and seeing so many people who were so into riding motorcycles was pretty fun. I like to see people enjoy themselves. I should have taken more (or better) pictures, but I was waving like a loon. I also took some video, but I can’t find it on my computer right now and I have no intention of checking my memory card at 12:30 in the morning, so I’ll just have to look tomorrow.

We only stayed for the beginning of the run, just while the riders zoomed onto the route, because we didn’t think Satanski would enjoy the two hours it would take for them to come back. Mom and I were enjoying the day and the kid wasn’t quite ready to head back home, so we decided to go to the park afterward. We went to Van Saun Park, which is a county park. At Satanski’s insistence, we started out by riding the train, which costs a dollar per ride for anybody over the age of two. I thought that this was a steal, until later, when a friend informed me that she remembered when a train ride cost only a quarter. Bummer. It was 90-some odd degrees on Sunday, and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised at the speed of the train; we went fast enough that the air felt good and helped cool me down, but not so fast that the kids on the train got queasy and hurled. It’s a delicate balance.

After the train, we went to the zoo and then to the carousel. The zoo was smelly and depressing, and all of the animals looked like they had just given up. I haven’t been to a big zoo in a couple of years, but I don’t remember the animals at Central Park Zoo looking quite so suicidal. The animals at the carousel were actually way more menacing than the actual real live animals at the zoo. I took some pictures of some of the animals in the carousel, and they are disturbing enough to warrant their own post. More to follow.