“That would be Ott-iss”

It’s always nice to find out that people who you don’t think of as funny have a good sense of humor. Here, Tobey Maguire played a trick on his wife, Jennifer Meyer, two weeks after the birth of their son, Otis, whom they hadn’t named immediately, and who needed a birth certificate. He spelled it correctly on the real birth certificate, and then brought an extra home with the baby’s name spelled as “Oatis.”

Awesomeness ensued.

Forget the cowbell, how about more Taylor Lautner?

This LOLcats rendition of New Moon is pretty entertaining, and surpasses the original in every sense except one: it lacks any hint of Taylor Lautner shirtless pics. If the author could just go back and put some in, it would be perfect!

Here’s my contribution:

Let's pretend he wasn't born in 1992.

Why is James Lipton so awesome???

How does he strike the right note to make these PSAs work both as straightforward “don’t be stupid” advice to teens, and subtle self-mockery? I don’t understand!! Anyway, the PSAs are amazing. The next time I’m tempted to text a photo of my junk to somebody, I will remember this and think again.

Dead Schmed

I love the way French people think. What other nation could give us posthumous weddings? I wonder: does she immediately get to call herself a widow, or is there some sort of waiting period?

When the phrase “Epic Fail” just isn’t strong enough

So a man recently defected from (richer, democratic) South Korea TO (poorer, dictator-rueld) North Korea. That’s not a joke. He really braved bullets, land mines, and razor wire to get into North Korea. Hardcore.

Also, I don’t know if this is an actual quote or just a translator having some fun, but this is my favorite sentence in the history of news articles: “He is now under the warm care of a relevant organ,” KCNA said.

Wo the Foq

Satanski is practicing sounding out words, and likes to write things and have us try to read them. Last week it was, “I kiss Nina,” which made us all laugh a bit – then I had to tell him that he can’t just go around kissing people (Nina is his classmate).

Last night he wrote  “Wo the foq.” That one also cracked me up, although I made sure not to laugh in front of him. Between his dad and his brother, I guess I’m not surprised that he knows that phrase, but I was disappointed. Still, I was really proud of him for sounding it out himself and getting close enough that I knew what he was saying. My little evil genius is growing up!

Damn, Manohla

I had no intention of seeing the new movie Ameila anyway, but Manohla Dargis’s brutal review of it is 1) the funniest thing I’ve read lately and 2) incentive enough not to pay to see that.

Forget the stars, reach for the attic

I know that I’m not the only one who finds the Balloon Boy thing totally ridiculous, but it seems that I didn’t take the ridiculousness to its logical conclusion. In time for Halloween, I bring you: Ballon Boy, the costume. You know you want it.

More eye-catching than the pink ribbon

This picture is hilariously inappropriate, but it’s pretty tame compared to the rest of the set that it comes from. Definitely NSFW. I imagine that this might be the kind of the anti-breast cancer sentiment that many of my guy friends can get behind.

Week o’Concerts

I saw the Beautifiul Small Machines on Tuesday night. They were at Ella Lounge, in the venue’s tiny basement, which was filled with smoke (machine-made, not from cigarettes). We walked in on the tail end of the previous set, which featured a DJ on a MacBook Pro and some guy on a guitar. Pass. One couple was even playing with a light saber-ish thingie that looked cute in the smoke, but kind of made people freak when the beam landed on them. When it landed on me I waved, and the girl scowled. Who knows what that means?

BSM’s set was great. The band seemed to be having a great time, although Bree Sharp got really emotional and said that she thought it would be her last show with the band, which was also going to be getting some new members. What does this mean? She wasn’t clear, and the band’s web sites aren’t elaborating. Bummer!

On Wednesday, I saw Ingrid Michaelson. She was fabulous! I’ve gotten over my confusion from this past summer, and have decided that Jason Mraz is definitely my favorite singer; still, she’s a close second. In my mind, Ingrid Michaelson is actually the female Mraz. She’s a great singer with an amazing voice, she’s funny, she a little hippie-ish, and she talks incessantly between songs. I wasn’t in the mood to be expansive and open-minded and did not end up seeing the opening acts, but she performed for a really long time and I was more than pleased with the quality and amount of music I heard last night.

Also, funnily enough, after I said last week that I wouldn’t recognize former Project Runway contestants if I passed them in the street, who did I pass on the street but Nicholas! Granted, he’s part of the current crop of designers, so I see his mug every week, but it still cracks me up. Look at the power of my mind! Here’s another one: I wouldn’t recognize a million dollars if it landed in my bank account. Okay, universe, it’s your turn again.