This time the TSA really does deserve our scorn

This New York Times article was sent to me by Virginia, my #1, and possibly only, reader (just kidding, Mom). It’s about Michael Hicks, an 8 year old whose name is on a TSA watch list. (Hey, TSA: Good job on improving the way that travelers’ names are checked against government watch lists.) He is scrutinized and subject to extra searches when he flies. Not his parents. Just him. They patted him down when he was 2 years old. Who could do that? How does that make any sense?

I laughed when I read the article, because it is ridiculous to think that any rational person could look at an 8 year old and suspect him of plotting some sort of aviation-related terrorism. But then I got serious; it’s awful when you think of what this child and his family have gone through. It’s even worse when you think that he’s been getting this treatment since the age of 2. I know what toddlers practice their own special brand of terror (my nephew’s nickname isn’t Satanski for nothing), but seriously? This just illustrates the complete lack of logic behind TSA policies, and shows why the TSA justifiably gets such a bad rap.

Also, I was terrified by the story of  Mario Labbé, an adult male with the same problem of having his name on a watch list. He was always questioned when he flew, and they always asked him the same thing. He got sick of it, and was able to fix the entire solution by changing his name. To François Mario Labbé. That’s it? That’s all it took? He changed his name just a little, and all the hassles ended? Although he shouldn’t have been on the list in the first place, I’d feel better knowing that it would take more than a trip to the municipal building for people whose travel plans raise justifiable concerns to evade heightened scrutiny. Where’s the followup? The intergovernmental agency cooperation?

The TSA was created in a hurry to allay people’s fears after 9/11, not out of careful strategy. I’m sure that a lot of TSA workers do want to help make air travel safe, but the system also seems to involve a worrying amount of pseduo-science (Only people with something to hide don’t look you in the eyes), racial profiling (Hey, you there, in the brown skin…), and plain retardedness (What were you planning to do with 101 ml of liquid, comrade??? The limit is 100!). For all that some justified people are pulled out of line or questioned further, it is inarguable that a lot falls through the cracks.

The TSA is probably not a good organization to work for. Their mission is vague, scary as all get out, and potentially dangerous. The Transportation Security Officer, which is the main point of TSA contact for many air travelers, is the poorest paying position in the organization. These factors naturally limit the pool of applicants, and thinking for a moment about who that leaves to work for the TSA explains a lot about people’s perceptions of TSA officers.  Kip Hawley, a former head of the TSA, famously called airport screening positions a dead end job. Yeah, no kidding.

Reading and thinking about the TSA is depressing the crap out of me, so I’ll stop now.

Do something nice for the people of Haiti

This article lists some of ways that you can help the people of Haiti. It seems obvious, but I’m surprised that they left off the Red Cross’s web site. You can make a general donation here, or text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10 via the Red Cross.

I know that not everybody is going to donate. Maybe you didn’t know how to (hint: look up). Maybe you’re broke or on a tight budget or just focusing your donation efforts elsewhere. Whatever your reason is, I hope it’s not because you’re as big a jackass as Pat Robertson.

Everybody’s got an opinion

(I don’t know why I find all of this so entertaining; I don’t even watch any of these shows, although I may catch a particularly entertaining monologue or interview if somebody posts it online AND sends me the link to it.)

So it should be clear by now that NBC totally effed up the way they handled the Jay Leno Show/Tonight Show thing, right? They forced Jay Leno into retirement, then placated him with a show in prime time. They promised Conan O’Brien that he could replace Jay and gave him the Tonight Show. In order to make room for Leno, they canceled Southland, which I’ve never seen but is rumored to be excellent, and moved other shows from the 10 o’clock hour to earlier, less permissive time slots. I mean, the man left New York (current temperature 31 degrees) and moved to that wasteland called Los Angeles (current temperature 63 degrees); if that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.

Southland’s Ben McKenzie on the Jay Leno Show: I’m glad it failed.

Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, and Craig Ferguson: Various awesome car- and chin-related Leno and NBC slapdowns.

Even Hitler is upset about this:

Wow. The only person who is currently getting more thoroughly trashed in late night than Jay Leno is Carson Daly.

Update: There are even more hilarious videos from last night. Gawker.tv organized them, so I don’t have to. Also, Carson Daly is still getting worked over by absolutely everybody.

This is me drawing the line

I don’t care if it means that I’m ancient, but I cannot get on board with that Ke$ha song “Tik-Tok.” I guess I should have been tipped off by the fact that every time I’ve seen it mentioned online, it isn’t accompanied by an mp3 or video. That’s a sign, right? Even the people whose jobs it is to talk about stuff like this don’t actually want to hear it.

Just to be clear, it’s not that I hate all new music indiscriminately.  I know what I like, but there’s always room in my heart, and on my mp3 player, for some new tunes. I like good pop, and I’m pretty much a lock when it comes to fun party songs. So, even if it didn’t replace “Just Dance” in my heart, it was entirely possible that I wasn’t going to hate “Tik-Tok.”

But the reality is far different (and worse) than what I’d imagined. The song is Autotuned to death, so much so that I have no idea whether Ke$ha can actually sing. I’m not rushing to listen to any of her other songs to find out, either. Plus the lyrics are lazy. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it also features the most insipid, Valley Girl-sounding talk/singing since Moon Unit Zappa (and that was parody; what’s Ke$ha’s excuse?).

I contrast the awful “Tik-Tok” with “How Do You Do,” by Natasha Bedingfield. Why? I’m not going to pretend that these songs have anything in common, but the former is awful and popular, while the latter is good and (at least according Amazon mp3 and iTunes, where it can’t even be purchased) not popular. I heard it the other day while I was at the mall, and was totally blown away by it. I was trying to converse with my friend and still listen to the song at the same time, so that I could memorize the lyrics and buy the song when I got home (that’s right: I’m so old, I BUY my music). I thought that I recognized Bedingfield’s voice, but I wasn’t positive. I googled her name and what I remembered of the lyrics, and came up with nada. I thought that maybe I’d been wrong, but then I remembered the “if you won’t say it, I will” line, and when I gooogled that, I hit the jackpot. It seems that this song was included on an import CD that failed to go far. I’ll have to buy the CD if I want the song, and I’m almost willing to do that.

Anyway, I’m sure that there are people who will prefer “Tik-Tok” to “How Do You Do?” and those who will not like either of them. But just to make it easy for you to form an opinion, I’m including both of the songs below. Neither of these videos are really videos; they’re just the songs.

Now get off my lawn.

A real good idea

Who doesn’t like free stuff? That (and the realities of garbage collection) is pretty much the idea behind curb shopping/dumpster diving. Somebody tosses out an item that is no longer needed, and if another person who wants it sees it before it’s collected by the trashman, it’s fair game. (Although, randomly, a few weeks ago I ran across this online discussion as to whether this practice is allowed by Jewish law.) I guess this practice might seem strange to people who live in places where this just isn’t done, but know people in the New York metro area who’ve gotten really nice items (coffee tables, bookcases, etc.) this way. I myself am always on the lookout, though I’ve yet to see anything on the curb that I wanted to take home with me.

So I thought it was cool/creepy/cool when I heard about the Blu Dot Real Good Experiment. Product by the Mono advertising agency for Blu Dot, a furniture company, the idea was to leave 25 of their Real Good Chairs in various NYC locations. They put GPS monitors on the chairs, and the approached the people who took them to ask why they had. My first exposure to the project came via the video below, which was a bit twee for me (the British woman’s voiceovers and fake interview questions especially killed me), but still seemed cool. I did think it was weird and intrusive to put the GPS in the chairs without notifying the curb miners (not EVERYBODY who took a chair knew beforehand what was going on), but it seemed that enough people didn’t mind it for the experiment and documentary to go on.

Then I read this article in the New York Times, which managed to clarify details of project. It did seem interesting to me that so many of the chairs seemed to go to artsy or well-to-do people. Obviously, a lot of New Yorkers fit either or both of those descriptions, but there were only 25 chairs…I thought it was disappointing that the video made no reference to tweeting the chairs’ locations, or to the lengths to which some people went to try to get one.

Blu Dot Real Good Experiment from Real Good Chair on Vimeo.

Brain cancer > Alzheimer’s?

Ideally, I’d rather not have either brain cancer or Alzheimer’s disease, but if the results of this study are true, I guess should take fewer pictures and browse the internets less and start using my cell phone to, you know, talk to people.

What a dbag

Joe Lieberman sucks, and now the electorate of Connecticut is finally getting sick of him. I think my friend, the Ha Ha Guy, says it best.

I can’t believe this jerk made it onto Kerry’s ticket as the vice presidential candidate, or that I didn’t realize how awful he was then. Live and learn, folks.

Cute, but I still don’t get why this takes place in January

Improv Everywhere (of the fake Best Buy employees fame; see below) is doing their annual No Pants Subway Ride this Sunday, January 10, 2010. I’ve also included video of this from last year.

If that looks like your idea of fun and you feel like stripping down to your skivvies and traumatizing total strangers, here’s the skinny.

Improv Everywhere, plan one of these babies in a reasonable month like April or October, and I’d be there.

Dan Brown does not approve

Every armchair conspiracy theorist’s favorite secretive organization is stepping into the 21st century, and making a special effort to be more transparent and less mysterious, in an effort to recruit younger members. But if the Freemasons prove that they’re not trying to overthrow the world’s governments/kill all Jews/destroy Catholicism, etc, how will Dan Brown write his next book???

Facts change

If you’re in school these days, you learn that there are five oceans and eight planets. When I was in school, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, there were four oceans and nine planets. Hello, Southern Ocean. See ya, Pluto. This must be why people have such trouble helping their children with their homework.