Not the Onion II

I don’t even understand how this is a real headline: Knox Jolie-Pitt Looks Like His Parents

Is the volcanic ash no longer sexy, now that transatlantic flights have resumed? Did the Pirates’ 20 – 0 drubbing at the hands of the Brewers not do it for the folks at The Huffington Post? I’m wracking my brain here for an explanation of this completely obvious headline that looks for all the world like it belongs at The Onion. Possible headline: Biological Child of Famous People Resembles His Parents

What  I find more interesting is that they failed to note that he inherited his Republican grandfather’s political leanings, as evidenced by the pro-NRA gesture he’s making.

This week’s Onion headline that is probably true

Olympic Athletes Hoping to Exchange Bent-Up Medals for Normal Ones

Isn’t it ironic

This article from The Onion is so full of win, not in the least because the sentiments its characters espouse are true to the Catholic Church, even if the events depicted are fabricated.

Please stop laughing

Sadly enough, this article is real, and not something thought up by the good folks over at The Onion. That’s right, folks: more Liberty University/evolution class silliness, this time brought to you by the Washington Post. Because it wasn’t embarrassing enough when the local Lynchburg paper was doing the reporting. Professor DeWitt, from the earlier article, takes his Advanced Creation Studies class to the Smithsonian, and complains how only one side is presented. Please explain to me how advanced any theory can be that essentially boils down to “A wizard did it.” If I went to Liberty, though, I would definitely take that series of classes. Sounds like an easy A for sure, as long as the words creator, infinite wisdowm, and divine plan figure prominently in all responses to essay questions. The Washington Post article’s subtitle makes me so sad: Creationist Students Take Field Trip to Hotbed of Evolution: The Smithsonian. When your real life would make a suitably humorous Onion headline, it might be time to reevaluate the road that led you to that point.