Can he run? No he can’t. Why? Because he’s just a comedian!

I love Stephen Colbert, but I almost never watch his show. In much the same way, I love comic books but almost never read them. Now, my two ignored loves are joining forces for a partership I am almost guaranteed to miss! Spider-Man editor-in-chief Joe Quesada was on Colbert’s show in January and came out with the news that, in the Spider-Man universe, Colbert is still in the running for president. If only! Stephen Colbert will appear in the October 15 edition of Spider-Man.

Clothes!

Yesterday I accidentally discovered Uniqlo. Obviously, the store existed before I arrived in SoHo and, thanks to the many posts devoted to it on Gothamist, I did know that it was there, but I hadn’t realized that it was so close to my destination. I saw it immediately upon exiting the subway and was very curious, but wanted to get to Helen Wang before the store closed. I figured that Uniqlo was larger and on a main street and would probably stay open longer, and I was correct on all three counts.

I tried on lots of pretty, girly dresses at Helen Wang, but apparently Helen is not interested in the fact that some of us have boobs. The size 6s and 8s fit everywhere except for across my girls, which made me sad. A LOT of that stuff was gorgeous, and I guess it’s probably a good thing for me that I couldn’t fit into most of it. There were some sun dresses that fit okay, but I found them a little boring. I ended up getting a cute, loose-fitting dress that put me in mind of something that Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl would wear. I really don’t know what that says about me. I’m still putting things together in my mind, but if I go somewhere formal for New Year’s Eve, this is definitely what I’d wear.

So I meandered after leaving Helen Wang, and went into some other stores on Mercer. Lots of sales, but nothing that I would buy even for any reason other than the fact that it was a good deal. So off to Uniqlo I went, where the first thing I saw was really a cute cashmere pullover for $40. It really makes no sense that they can sell things so inexpensively (not that I’m complaining, just confused). Initially, I picked up one of those, but when I went to the fitting room for the first time, I saw that that shirt had some schmutz on it. I’m not picky, but I’d like to believe that my clothes are clean when I buy them (because it’s not like I wash them before wearing. Shut up). Also, my like for the shirt was closely tied to the high quality fabric at a low price, and I felt little admiration for the item itself, so I passed on getting a newer, hopefully cleaner shirt.

I tried on a cute white pea coat that put me in the mind of this Bailey 44 coat I tried on earlier that day, but which cost $341. It wouldn’t have been the most I’d ever spent on a coat, but that’s not exactly the best rationale ever for buying something, now is it? The skirts at Uniqlo were kind of cute, but the lengths did nothing for me. They were either too long and made me look stumpy AND frumpy or too short and made me look trashy. I did end up buying a cute corduroy pencil skirt that my mom cautioned me against wearing to work (as if I ever would). I was just about to leave when a cute, extremely personable salesguy came by and offered me his opinion on the pea coat (I was looking for it in black, but he thought the white looked better). He also talked me into trying on skinny jeans, which he said would look really good on me (he was right, damn him) and a pale lavender shirt, which I’m not completely sold on, but can appreciate in the abstract. I got that same shirt in several colors, but I did draw the line at the shade of green he tried to get me to buy it in; I’m not a fir green kind of person.

In the end, I got a lot of stuff that I like but didn’t necessarily need, so I decided that I should end my night by buying something that I did need: new sneakers. I have owned my Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars since the night in September of 2006 of the Heroes series premiere, and decided that the broken elastic and ripped side of my shoes meant I could go ahead and replace them without feeling wasteful. I got home exactly 30 minutes after boarding the bus at Port Authority, which was pretty sweet, and my evening only improved when I found out that Monday was the season premiere of Chuck and Life, and that this week’s Gossip Girl was everything I dreamed of. I watched Chuck while eating dinner, and then watched Gossip Girl during the changing breaks in the new fashion show of that I put on for my mother. I’m only halfway through Heroes because those people are kind of boring me right now, but I hope that I’m in a better frame of mind to watch it tomorrow.

This is the best picture my mom took

but this is the best picture of the dress...

Hispanic Heritage Parade

Here are pictures that I took yesterday at the parade. I’m pleasantly surprised at how well they came out, considering my astonishing lack of battery power. Click on any image to see it enlarged.

Whatever dudes

So the Mets choked. Again. Some more. I am disappointed, but definitely not surprised. It came to me this morning that my team has become the baseball equivalent of the early-mid 1990s Knicks, which is pretty sad. They look promising, beat the teams that need to be beaten, and then make stupid mistakes that eventually prove to be their undoing. To say that the Mets have become the premiere choke artists of the MLB would be an understatement; I think they had that one sewn up in 2007. This has gone on for three years now, and it’s sad that expensive mediocrity has become the norm for the Mets. Well, now I can root for either the Red Sox or the Rays; the Sox have always been my preferred AL team, but the Rays have such a good story this year (despite the stupid name change).

But on to other things. While the Mets were in Flushing crushing the dreams of their fans, I was elsewhere in the borough, attending the Hispanic Heritage Parade in Jackson Heights. Satanski is quite obsessed with parades, so even though our connection to Hispanic Heritage is tenuous at best (his maternal great-grandmother was from Puerto Rico, and I’m the usual black American mutt), we went. It was pouring when we exited the subway and I was sure that the parade would be canceled, but we’d come all the way from New Jersey, so I thought we should check. How smart I am! A local traffic cop told me that the parade was still on and a few beat officers directed us to 37th Avenue. My nephew, who at 3 has a completely unfounded phobia about police officers, was quite impressed with their helpfulness and shouted, “Thank you, police!” as we walked to our destination. It was supposed to start at noon, but it was closer to 12:45 before it actually got under way. As you might imagine, the sounds and colors were amazing, and the parade really got going when the rain stopped falling. I went largely to see my belly dance teacher and fellow students perform (to salsa music, which was actually a neat combination), but the kid was getting cranky and all paraded-out, so we left after they passed us by. I brought my smaller camera and did not properly charge the batteries, so I actually don’t know what kind of shots I got. I turned off review to preserve battery function and didn’t look at them when I got home, so I will go over and post those pictures when I get home after work (which might be delayed, as I just found out that Helen Wang is having a store closing sale and things are going for 80% off).

New favorite thing ever

I think that I may have found my new favorite thing to do: speed dating! It sounds crazy, but I had a great time talking to all of those guys last night. Five minutes meant that we were almost never finished talking before time was up (except for one jerky guy who not only finished talking but actually GOT UP FROM THE TABLE early) and I just had a good time talking to random guys. I had conversations about the Mets, my travels, India, fashion, my job, crazy people, psychology professors (but I repeat myself), advanced degrees, and I even got to speak in French! That was pretty awesome. The whole evening, from meeting new people to the girls’ night atmosphere, was so fun.
I couldn’t really remember who was who, but that didn’t actually matter too much to me. The other girls were able to keep guys straight in their heads (or on their sheets) who was who, and they helped jog my memory. On the web site that set up the event, I was able to choose my “matches,” AKA people I wouldn’t mind meeting up with again. Too bad you couldn’t pick other girls; some of them were pretty cool and I’d definitely get drinks with them. Anyway, two of the guys who I picked also picked me, so I’m feeling pretty good right now 🙂

Sorta Boom (no dynamite was involved in the making of this post)

Yesterday morning, my parents’ church was torn down to give way for a bigger, awesomer, more churchier church. They have well over 2,000 members now and that church was constructed to hold 400 (which, in 1948, seemed like a huge sum and was way more space than was necessary), so even with three services, they were struggling to seat people comfortably and safely. I went with the parents and Satanski to see the demolition, and it was a pretty interesting experience. I attended that church for my entire childhood, and spent countless hours with a lot of the people I saw at the demolition. I’m no longer a member there, but I have mostly positive memories of the congregation and the times I had there. I’ll admit, it was nice to be fawned over and to have people tell me how nice I looked and how great it was to see me. Weird, since I don’t often think about a lot of those people, but nice all the same. I do go to church every now and then, and it’s nice to know that there’s a place where people think of you, miss you, and wish you well. I wondered what kind of reaction I’d have to the demolition, but I have to say that I really don’t feel anything at all. Some people did cry, but to me, it’s just a building, and the congregation is staying together while it’s being built, so it’s not exactly the end of an era. It’s probably wrong to bring baseball into this discussion, but that’s also why I don’t care so much that Shea Stadium is getting thrown over for something younger and prettier. Actually, now that I think about it, I might mind that more, because it will soon cost me more than it already does to get into a Mets game, and I’ll probably still end up leaving with that same sense of disappointment that I’m feeling right now.

The first thing the demolition crew did was to remove the church’s cornerstone. Or, they tried to remove the cornerstone. What was supposed to start at 7:30 and take no more than an hour started at 8:30 and took at least three hours. Apparently the chuch wasn’t built by professionals, and it seems that they overcompensated and made sure that everything was in there real good. That rings true; when one of my  college classes visited the Habitat for Humanity headquarters in Georgia, the person who with whom we met told us that Hurricane Andrew showed that HfH homes were more likely to withstand hurricanes than homes built by professionals, because (motivated, but largely untrained) volunteers always used more nails than was strictly necessary and therefore built sturdier homes. A couple of guys were still working on that at the front of the church while the rest of the crew starting knocking in the roof and the back of the church. I had been told that there would be dynamite, or some other explosive agent used, but that turned out to be a dirty lie. They just used one of those excavator things to keep knocking stuff in. We didn’t stay for the whole thing, because I had to get to work in the afternoon and also watching a building get knocked in doesn’t stay exciting for long, but we were told that, by the time the crew called it a day, only one wall and the front steps remained.

What does it take to get rid of that girl?

Kenley is like the Teflon Don, the way she keeps flirting with elimination and annoying the crap out of the judges, only to be reprieved before getting auffed. Why is she still on this show? She’s ungraciously defensive, moderately talented, and supremely annoying. And, of course, I just saw a preview for next week where she dishes up more of the same petty, juvenile behavior that she has exhibited all season. I would be happy to see that promo and take it as a harbinger of her doom, but the other designers were also expressing anxiety and crying on the runway, so it’s too soon to take the pins out of my Kenley voodoo doll. Plus, after last week’s episode, I just knew she would be toast, and she wasn’t, so I have to make an effort not to get too excited.

I didn’t necessarily think that Suede should have gone home for the boring rock and roll outfit that he made Jerell, but I would not argue that, cumulatively, his missteps outweighed those of the other designers. Despite his relentless use of the third person, somehow Suede wiggled his way into my heart (just a little), and I was actually slightly sad to see him go. He’s like that annoying, boozy barfly whose futile attempts to speak in complete sentences and be taken seriously are so funny that you’re a little sad when the bartender finally cuts him off and pours him into a cab before the night is over. Now who’s going to entertain you?

Still, it’s not so much that Suede’s talent is one that I’m going to miss (I’m not saying that he isn’t talented, but I’m not going to lose sleep next week wondering what he would have made if he’d remained on the show instead of Kenley). It’s just that I hate Kenley’s attitude so much, I’m not inclined to be fair or reasonable about anything related to her. Her sense of entitlement is making me ill. I’m all for self-confidence and pride in one’s work, but she takes these perfectly good qualities to unreasonable levels. In Kenley’s world, any time that somebody doesn’t just adore her stuff, it’s not because she’s made a mistake or interpreted the challenge incorrectly, it’s because that person JUST DOESN’T GET IT. She cannot conceive of a universe where her best effort isn’t right the first time out, and doesn’t understand why others don’t love her as much as she loves herself. She lacks perspective and cannot accept criticism in the spirit in which it was intended. How does she expect to learn anything from 1) a well-known desinger, 2) a former fashion magazine style editor, 3) a pretty freaking awesome supermodel, and 4) any number of guest fashion luminaries if she won’t listen to their advice long enough to see how it might apply to her designs? I really admire Tim for even trying to explain to her how her attitude is getting in her way, but I am in no way surprised that she immediately discounted everything that he’d said to her. She’s a brat, and I use such a childish word because she seems to have an attitude more commonly found in 15-year-old girls.

I continue to be impressed with Jerell. He really has made such great strides from where he was at the beginning of the season, and although his attitude sometimes resembles Kenley’s, at least he has the talent to kind of back it up. It would have been really interesting if he’d won four challenges in a row, and his work is such that I would not have felt that Korto was slighted if he’d won tonight. I’m glad that Korto won tonight, if only because that meant she actually cracked a smile on the runway. Usually, she looks like the judges just offered her a choice between the dungeon or a day in the stocks.

Also, I know it’s not fair, but I’m unreasonably excited that there will be at least two female designers officially going to fashion week this year (as opposed to being decoys). It seemed like the women of of season five really had the chops that were mostly lacking in their male counterparts, and I’m excited to see who wins. [Full disclosure: thanks to the wonderful Jezebel, I have already seen the collections of the five designers (those still in the competition, plus Joe and Suede) and know which are in my personal top two, but I don’t pretend to be able to guess what the judges will think.]

Other thoughts:

I’m not even remotely interested in that design show after Project Runway, but the tiny Asian guy with the horrible little voice makes me want to do damage to my ear drums. I know it’s horrible to make fun of somebody for something that he has no control over and that he cannot change, but his voice just bugs me so much. I program my dvr to continue to record for a couple of minutes after Project Runway is over (I’m paranoid about missing something), so this isn’t the first time that I’ve gotten this particularly unpleasant surprise.

What is this feeling?

I think it might be..yup, it is…ladies and gents, I have hope. Hope that my stupid Mets can stave off their inevitable collapse long enough to make it into the post season. They beat the Cubs tonight, which is great, since the Cubs are kicking butt this season. I’m looking forward to that colossal choke as well. Also, it’s official that the Yankees cannot possibly make it to the postseason, so I’m pretty freaking happy right now.

Taking an interesting idea far past its logical conclusion

My coworker brought in zucchini bread for us to munch on this morning. I was a little scared of it just because of the name, and also because it was kind of green, but sacked up anyway and tried a bit. It wasn’t anything like what I was expecting. It didn’t taste much like zucchini, but was moist and sweet and really delicious. I had seconds and was happy that I tried this particular vegetable/other combination.

Then, this afternoon when I was getting a drink to go with my lunch, I ran across Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray soda. I saw a lime green can and thought that it might be a soda in the spirit of Sprite or 7Up. Then I read the writing on the can, and found out that it’s actually celery-flavored soda. My relationship with vegetables is shaky at best, but I think that even normal vegetable eaters would be like, “Okay, now you’re just being crazy.” Why would you make a soda that tastes like celery? Celery doesn’t even have much of a taste. You have to stick it in peanut butter and decorate it with raisins and pretend that it’s animals marching in nature in order to get people to eat it. Its only good property is that it’s so high in water content that you (probably) burn more energy digesting plain celery than you took in while consuming it.

Happy Sunday

Today has been a nice day so far. I didn’t go to church with everybody else, so I got to awaken to a peaceful house (which was nice). I slept in, which means I didn’t get up until quarter til 9. I knit for a while, as I watched Grey’s Anatomy. I’m on the second disc of season two, and I’m almost ready for a break from this show. I think I’ll switch back to Buffy soon.

I went with Shiz to a street fair on eight avenue, lunch, and then a walk around Soho to pick up some longer length circular needles. I’m serious about making this baby blanket, and I’ll be all set once the yarn arrives in the mail.

I caught the bus home at Port Authority, but as I waited, I sat in Meet Me at McAnn’s and watched those sorry Mets lose to the Braves. Some guy was watching me express disbelief and then outrage as Heilman came in and gave up more runs, and was ridiculously surprised at how knowledgeable I was about the Mets. It’s a reaction I’ve run into somewhat frequently, so now I’m more amused than offended by it. He kept saying, “I don’t know how you know this stuff.” The first time he did, I responded with, “The same way other people know it: I read the newspaper and watch ESPN.” But that answer really did not penetrate his skull, so I didn’t bother to repeat myself when he asked again. He was pretty surprised to hear that I hate the Yankees, until I told him that it was mostly the result of fairweather Yankee fans. I told him that I found Yankee fandom kind of soulless, but he thought that word was a better descriptor of New York sports fans in general. He didn’t like the fact that I root for Boston in the AL, but what can I say? You can’t please everybody. I regained some of my points when we started to discuss Joe Torre, the Dodgers, and Manny Ramirez, and I still knew what I was talking about.

I’m glad I was able to converse intelligently and throw around names like Rick Peterson and Dan Warthen, and maybe blow this guy’s mind.