Magic words: Bill Clinton ate here

Who knew? Also, the Lewinsky jokes practically write themselves.

I may never eat again

Below you will find an email that I received from UrbanDaddy. I just joined this site, and I’m pretty sure that I will be unsubscribing rather soon, if this is their idea of something that MUST be shared. I left the contact info at the end, though, in case what makes me vomit in my mouth actually makes you salivate. I simply do not understand why you’d want sausage that tasted like a bacon cheeseburger, instead of just having a bacon cheeseburger.

Served Up
	Introducing the Bacon Cheeseburger Sausage
	Think back to your early days. It seemed perfectly reasonable, even brilliant, to combine all the foods you loved into one glorious superfood. Sure, there were naysayers who thought your chicken nugget pizza terrine was obscene. But you stuck to your guns. And we have a reward for you. Introducing the Bacon Cheeseburger Sausage, a hybrid foodstuff born into this world by superstar butchers Tom Mylan and Brent Young, available now at the Meat Hook, in Williamsburg. If you’re not familiar with these guys, they’re all about “disrespecting” high quality meats. They recommend serving the sausage on a bun, with mustard, at home, as an antidote to fast food cravings. Pair it with cheap beer (more on this later) and let the soul satisfying goodness wash over you. The varied, powerful, sausage ingredient list reads like the roster of the 1927 Yankees (or the cast of The View)—beef shoulder, pork belly, onion, cheap beer (usually Busch or Budweiser), cheese (American, cheddar and bleu), crunchy bacon bits, salt and pepper. And if you’re looking to indulge your old superfood cravings, they take custom sausage orders (in mass quantities). Call ahead and they’ll turn your whims into a meal: Buffalo Chicken Wing Sausage. Taco Chorizo Sausage. Go ahead, say it out loud. The sausage future is wide open. Note: Bacon Cheeseburger Sausage, available now at The Meat Hook, 100 Frost St, Brooklyn, 718-349-5033

A thorough ribbing, not necessarily undeserved

I like to read the Food section of the New York Times when I have a few minutes and find myself in front of the computer. I bake and cook when I get the mood, and I’m always looking for good recipes. This week’s Frank Bruni column focused on a challenge given to two food writers: feed a party of 8 for less than $50. I thought the article was interesting, and liked the ideas that I got from it, even though I know that it’s not at all difficult to serve 6 people a complete meal for $50 or less.

Still, I got a kick out of the way that the Jezebel community reacted to the story. In addition to being up in arms and making fun of stupid food reporters, chefs, the New York Times, and printed media in general, the Jezzies added something of even more value than humor: recipes. Most of them were in the vein of “tostitos, dip, coffee, etc” but a few (including Sadie’s recipe that she posted along with her reaction to the article) looked like something I’d in all seriousness make and eat. Thank you, Jezebel! I shall be eating cheaply for ages, now!