I feel like the universe should probably have imploded upon the recent convergence of Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann upon the unsuspecting voters of Minnesota. I think they violated natural laws about how many concurrent examples you could have of 10 pounds of crazy fitting into a five pound bag. The woman at the end of that article is wrong, though: I’m not threatened by the fact that Palin and Bachmann are successful women. My lack of respect for them stems from the fact that they say crazy and dangerous things which, sadly, is exactly why many people love them. Their sex isn’t of any interest to me, and jeebus knows there are more than enough loony toonsmale politicians out there.
I’m upset with The Wall Street Journal for taking my favorite imaginary band name (Bachmann-Palin Overdrive) and making it into the headline for a rather run-of-the-mill story. Fools! You need to save that kind of awesomeness for your A-material. No wonder print journalism is dying. Also, I’m not sure whether the idea of Palin-Bachmann 2010 is more amusing, or more frightening than just about everything else ever. It’s a thin line, folks. (Although I already know what should obviously be their theme song.)
I think that somebody could make a reality show of these two saying “Alaska” and “Minnesota” non-stop. I’d DVR the crap out of that program. Oh dear god, the accents! If these two had to exist and come from anywhere, I’m happy that it’s states with such interesting-sounding names. And then Tina Fey and her Mini-Me could spend hours and hours mocking them on SNL. I’d watch that, too.
I so often enjoy the world in my head much more than the one that I’m physically inhabiting.
It’s been a while since I checked in with her, and I don’t do well with change, so it’s a relief to know that our friend Michele Bachmann is still as crazy as ever. This time, she temporarily blocked voting on the resolution that celebrated Hawai’i’s 50th year as a state, and, (oh!) also named it as the birthplace of our 44th president. Controversial stuff, there, right? Thankfully, her nuttiness didn’t impede the resolution from being passed 378 – 0 (not that it was unanimously approved; over 50 cowardly jackholes just abstained from the vote).
We know what happened in the presidential election, but what happened in some of the other races I’ve been following?
First we’ll start with the good news:
Elizabeth Dole, hate- and fear-monger extraordinaire, was defeated by her opponent, Kay Hagan! I’m proud of North Carolina not only for ousting Dole, but also for going for Barack Obama (maybe)!
Then we’ll go to the meh news:
Frank Lautenberg, 84-year-old incumbent Democrat Senator, easily kept his seat in New Jersey. This means that he will be 90 years old at the next election. That’s super freaking old. He’s done a good job, so I hope he keeps it up, but I don’t understand how so many people who could complain about a 74-year-old presidential candidate could in good conscience elect a senator who is a decade older.
Then the “aw crap, Minnesota” news: Norm Coleman defeated Al Franken by just over 700 votes. I try not to hate on those who vote for third party candidates, but seriously Minnesota, wtf? If even one thousand of those chuckleheads had voted for Franken, this would be a whole different day in Minnesota. There’s going to be a recount, so maybe there’s some hope, but I’m not holding my breath, since they say that a definitive winner may not be declared until December!
Michele Bachmann, who famously suggested that the media should reinstate McCarthy-era investigations into the patriotism of politicians, easily kept her seat. There is no justice. While I would have preferred it if she lost, and lost big, I would have hoped that any victory of hers was hard fought. I hate the idea of someone this bilious feeling as though she should keep behaving in this way and saying the kind of insane things she usually says.
Who’d have thought that I’d talk about Minnesota politics even once on this blog, much less twice? This time, though, my primary focus is Michele Bachmann, a member of the House of Representatives and a total idiot. Representative Bachmann went on Hardball and said that Senator Obama and his wife, Michelle Obama, held anti-American views and that they could not be trusted in the Oval Office. Representative Bachmann then went on to say that the media (now she trusts the media??) should thoroughly investigate other members of Congress to determine whether they held anti-American or pro-American attitudes.
I’m pretty sure that Michele Bachmann didn’t get the memo; you’re supposed to imply that the Obamas, Democrats, and liberals are somehow less patriotic than the McCains, Republicans, and conservatives, but you’re not supposed to come right out and say it. Tsk, tsk, Representative Bachmann.
Absolutely terrifying, Amusing, Government/Law, Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin, United States Congress | Nicole | 
April 8, 2010 9:29 am | 
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