I agree, give the man a chance

My mother, who never asks me for anything, wanted me to put this article where all the world could see it. God bless her, my mom thinks I’m a lot more popular and better-connected than I actually am. Google Analytics say that a humorously low number of people actually read my site, so I’m not sure this will do any good, but here you go, Mom.

For those of you who aren’t interested enough to click on the link:

America – He’s Your President for Goodness Sake!

By William Thomas
Posted: Friday, October 1st, 2010

There was a time not so long ago when Americans, regardless of their political stripes, rallied round their president. Once elected, the man who won the White House was no longer viewed as a republican or democrat, but the President of the United States. The oath of office was taken, the wagons were circled around the country’s borders and it was America versus the rest of the world with the president of all the people at the helm.

Suddenly President Barack Obama, with the potential to become an exceptional president has become the glaring exception to that unwritten, patriotic rule.

Four days before President Obama’s inauguration, before he officially took charge of the American government, Rush Limbaugh boasted publicly that he hoped the president would fail. Of course, when the president fails the country flounders. Wishing harm upon your country in order to further your own narrow political views is selfish, sinister and a tad treasonous as well.

Subsequently, during his State of the Union address, which is pretty much a pep rally for America, an unknown congressional representative from South Carolina, later identified as Joe Wilson, stopped the show when he called the President of the United States a liar. The president showed great restraint in ignoring this unprecedented insult and carried on with his speech. Speaker Nancy Pelosi was so stunned by the slur, she forgot to jump to her feet while clapping wildly, 30 or 40 times after that.

Last spring, President Obama took his wife Michelle to see a play in New York City and republicans attacked him over the cost of security for the excursion. The president can’t take his wife out to dinner and a show without being scrutinized by the political opposition? As history has proven, a president in a theatre without adequate security is a tragically bad idea.

Remember: “Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?”

At some point, the treatment of President Obama went from offensive to ugly and then to downright dangerous.

The health-care debate, which looked more like extreme fighting in a mud pit than a national dialogue, revealed a very vulgar side of America. President Obama’s face appeared on protest signs white-faced and blood-mouthed in a satanic clown image. In other tasteless portrayals, people who disagreed with his position distorted his face to look like Hitler complete with mustache and swastika.

Odd, that burning the flag makes Americans crazy, but depicting the president as a clown and a maniacal fascist is accepted as part of the new rude America.

Maligning the image of the leader of the free world is one thing, putting the president’s life in peril is quite another. More than once, men with guns were videotaped at the health-care rallies where the president spoke. Again, history shows that letting men with guns get within range of a president has not served America well in the past.

And still the “birthers” are out there claiming Barack Obama was not born in the United States, although public documentation proves otherwise. Hawaii is definitely part of the United States, but the Panama Canal Zone where his electoral opponent Senator John McCain was born? Nobody’s sure.

Last month, a 44-year-old woman in Buffalo was quite taken by President Obama when she met him in a chicken wing restaurant called Duff’s. Did she say something about a pleasure and an honour to meet the man or utter encouraging words for the difficult job he is doing? No. Quote: “You’re a hottie with a smokin’ little body.”

Lady, that was the President of the United States you were addressing, not one of the Jonas Brothers! He’s your president for goodness sakes, not the guy driving the Zamboni at “Monster Trucks On Ice.” Maybe next it’ll be, “Take Your President To A Topless Bar Day.”

In President Barack Obama, Americans have a charismatic leader with a good and honest heart. Unlike his predecessor, he’s a very intelligent leader. And unlike that president’s predecessor, he’s a highly moral man.

In President Obama, Americans have the real deal, the whole package and a leader that citizens of almost every country around the world look to with great envy. Given the opportunity, Canadians would trade our leader, hell, most of our leaders for Obama in a heartbeat.

What America has in Obama is a head of state with vitality and insight and youth. Think about it, Barack Obama is a young Nelson Mandela. Mandela was the face of change and charity for all of Africa but he was too old to make it happen. The great things Obama might do for America and the world could go on for decades after he’s out of office.

America, you know not what you have.

The man is being challenged unfairly, characterized with vulgarity and treated with the kind of deep disrespect to which no previous president was subjected. It’s like the day after electing the first black man to be president, thereby electrifying the world with hope and joy, Americans sobered up and decided the bad old days were better.

President Obama may fail but it will not be a Richard Nixon default fraught with larceny and lies. President Obama, given a fair chance, will surely succeed but his triumph will never come with a Bill Clinton caveat – “if only he’d got control of that zipper.”

Please. Give the man a fair, fighting chance. This incivility toward the leader who won over Americans and gave hope to billions of people around the world that their lives could be enhanced by his example, just naturally has to stop.

Believe me, when Americans drive by the White House and see a sign on the lawn that reads: “No shirt. No shoes. No service,” they’ll realize this new national rudeness has gone way, way too far.

That’s my girl

It’s been a while since I checked in with her, and I don’t do well with change, so it’s a relief to know that our friend Michele Bachmann is still as crazy as ever. This time, she temporarily blocked voting on the resolution that celebrated Hawai’i’s 50th year as a state, and, (oh!) also named it as the birthplace of our 44th president. Controversial stuff, there, right? Thankfully, her nuttiness didn’t impede the resolution from being passed 378 – 0 (not that it was unanimously approved; over 50 cowardly jackholes just abstained from the vote).

Oh please, oh please, oh please…

My buddy, Sarah Palin, has decided to step down from her post as governor of Alaska. Initially, people thought that this might be to give her time to get her act together, so that she could run for president in 2012. And, seriously: how sweet would that be? With Palin as the Republican nominee, Obama could introduce Hookers and Blow Tuesdays in the Oval Office and still beat her handily.

The timing of this announcement can only be called curious; much like Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey’s announcement of their divorce immediately prior to Thanksgiving, Ms. Palin’s July 3 press conference seems like nothing so much as an attempt to dodge as much of the media as possible during this holiday break. The Mudflats, a web site from Alaska that I visited a few times during the presidential election, linked to a transcript of Ms. Palin’s speech and provided some speculation as to why she would step down as governor (rhymes with “skimbezzlement”).

I wonder, too, if this has anything to do with the tell-all book about Ms. Palin that is being written by Steve Schmidt, her former campaign strategist (and the guy who picked her to run with John McCain; do we really trust his judgment anymore??); Gawker had a juicy tidbit from it the other day, and if the rest of it is as forehead-slappingly stupid as this bit, no wonder the woman wants out before publication. Gawker also speculates as to why the Alaska governor decided to resign her post.

Doing a quick look around the tubes and twitter, it seems that trouble with the IRS is the most prevalent theory. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Whatever, Mo

I wish that Maureen Dowd was a dude, so that I could kick her in the junk. She’s always saying stupid things, and nothing makes her happy. First she tried throughout the campaign to imply that President Obama was weak and unmanly, and now that he has the most important job on the planet, she’s calling him elitist and arrogant. If he keeps his promises to Democrats, she says that he’s ignoring Republicans. If he reaches out to Republicans, she accuses him of ignoring those who put him in power. What does she want from him? Does she understand that life does not exist only at the ends of a spectrum?

I find Maureen Dowd obnoxious, and I do not for one minute believe that that is her actual hair color.

A side of WTF with my OMG

Okay, Obama. Sanjay Gupta for Surgeon General? Seriously? This is troublesome, unless of course you would like to consider Press Secretary Jon Stewart, and then all will be forgiven (until the next boneheaded cabinet appointment). I know that Dr. Gupta really is a surgeon, but do we really need to resort to selecting our Cabinet members from basic cable? Were there no other authoritative, intelligent, reasonable surgeons in the whole country? This is not going to help matters with those who find Obama’s worldview to be drastically different than their own.

In good news, Al Franken is now the governor of Minnesota. I know! Even when I was rooting for him, I didn’t think that he had any sort of chance. The results were close enough that Coleman is definitely going to pursue a legal challenge, but for now, we have a former Saturday Night Live actor as a state’s governor. Of course, Minnesota famously elected Jesse Ventura, so it’s not like Franken is even the most interesting television performer elected in the Gopher State.

If you’re wondering why I’m more okay with Franken being senator than Sanjay Gupta Surgeon General, here’s a short list:

• Shut up.

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

Remember Stephen Lewis, the Murfreesboro Free Press columnist who thought it would be hilarious to rewrite the theme song to The Jeffersons with the Obamas in mind? Well, as the person who commented on my post mentioned, in addition to reworking songs and ridiculing the accents of naturalized Americans in his free time, Mr. Lewis spends his days as a principal of an elementary school. Oh goody, because he is exactly who I want overseeing the next generation! (Overseeing! See what I did there?)

It seems that, in addition to the apology published by the editor of the Free Press, Mr. Lewis emailed his own tepid apology to the parents of those children who attend his school.

Although my hobby as a columnist is not connected directly to my position as principal I should have known better than to attempt to find humor in a subject so sensitive to so many. With all of that being said, I truly apologize to those of you who were offended by my comments.

What an apology, huh? I’m guessing that the school board or whoever actually hired him told him to write that. It certainly doesn’t sound heartfelt. To me, it sounds a lot like, “I’m sorry you overly sensitive whiners can’t take a joke.” I still really cannot believe that anybody would be dumb enough to write that column, but especially somebody who works with diverse populations every day and knows about the standards to which educators are held. How could this have seemed like a good idea? It would have been a terrible thing just to forward to a few friends, so how much more boneheaded was it to submit it for publication in a newspaper? You have to wonder about some people.

For those people who were directed to this post because of its title, George said that in an episode of Seinfeld, a show I generally don’t care about at all, but which I find selectively quotable.

Lighten up, Francis.

My mom is understandably super happy about Obama’s win. It really shows her how far we as a nation have come. My mother grew up in segregated South Carolina. Only her youngest brother (last of my grandparents’ 10 surviving children), ever went to school with white children, and then I think only in the last few years of high school. So my mom doesn’t hate anybody, but still has comfort issues around white people. She doesn’t really hang out with any, and I think that, to her, my having so many white friends is a source of confusion, amusement, and perhaps a little bit of pride (she’s happy that I don’t have the same bad associations that she does).

So anyway, I received all of these really uplifting, corny, cheesy, vaguely messianic emails from her about Barack Obama going into the election, and the volume, corniness, cheesiness, and messianic undertones have all increased since his win. Just like everybody else on the Internet, I have seen Patrick Moberg‘s illustration pretty much everywhere since November 4.

And now you've seen it, too!

But by now we all know that too much saccharine sentiment in our diets can lead to an irony deficiency, so here are two covers that I prefer to a lot of things my mom has sent me (predictably, she hated them). They’re from the Chicago Reader. The Obama cover is the one they went with (for obvious reasons), but they had the McCain cover all ready just in case.

Stupid Internet, ruining everything

Stephen Lewis, a humor columnist at the Murfreesboro Post of Tennessee, wrote an opinion column yesterday that included a song about the Obamas move to Washington. As you may have guessed by its inclusion in this post, this song was not in the best of taste. Mr. Lewis chose to set his “Ode to President Obama” to the tune of “Movin’ On Up,” the theme song to 1970’s-era television show, The Jefferson. Wow, Stephen. That’s Klassy!

Here’s the first verse:
“Well we’re movin’ on up,
To Washington, D.C.
To a deee-luxe pimp pad,
Painted whiiiite.
Yeah we’re movin’ on up,
To the White House.
I’ll be jetting with P. Diddy cross the sky.

Let’s examine the stereotypes found just in those lines (nevermind the rest of the song): We’ve got the missing “g” in “movin,'” because when you’re a black, Harvard-educated lawyer planning at least a 4 year squat in the White House, the last thing you’re thinking about is saying your words properly. Then we’ve got “pimp pad” (I’ll excuse “deee-luxe,” as it is in the original song). Because every black man aspires to being a peddler of women. And of course, what’s the point of being famous and black if you can’t hang out with P. Diddy? Nothing says you’ve reached the zenith of the American political establishment more than hanging out with Sean Combs.

Because newspaper articles on the Internet has the opportunity to reach readers around the world, Mr. Lewis’ stupidity did not stay limited to the Volunteer State. By Monday morning, this article, which initially appeared in the Sunday edition of the Post, was making the rounds on the Internet, offending latte-drinking, arugula-eating leftists and beer-swilling, gun-toting rightists alike. By Monday afternoon, the editor of the Murfeesboro Post, Michael L. Pirtle, had issued something resembling an apology. Here’s a link to Mr. Lewis’s column, with the editor’s note of the usual passive-aggressive sort apologizing “for any offense generated” by this column.

Help create the next Barack Obama

You can help set in motion the events that could produce the next Barack Obama. How? For the low, low amount of $10, you can donate to Nothing But Nets, an organization that provides refugee children in Africa with an anti-malarial net that protect them from deadly disease. But what does that have to do with Barack Obama, you ask? Well, with that net, some nice young African man or woman can stay alive long enough to attend school, come to the United States to further his or her education, and marry some American person. Then, in four and a half decades, that offspring could become our next commander-in-chief. So, as you can see, the real winner here is us. If you’d like to donate through my team (which isn’t even a real team, but I’ve always liked signing up for stuff), click here. If you’d like to start your own team, you can do that, too. Please at least check out the Nothing But Nets web site, if you’d like more information or if you’re thinking about giving.

But does he have the big Mo?

So North Carolina has been called for Barack Obama, too, meaning that Missouri is the only remaining unclaimed state. The Associated Press, via the Boston Globe, announced this with a bit of a flourish.

For those of you who can’t be arsed to click the above link, the final paragraph in the article reads as follows:

So Obama has not just redrawn the map. He’s printed an entirely new one.

Pretty sentiment, if not particularly objective or news-like.