The Sky is the Limit

Every week, I watch Project Runway later and later. It used to be that on Thursdays, when it aired, I would give my Tivo a twenty minute head start and then start to watch. Then I began to watch on Fridays. Then it was Saturday, then Sunday. It’s now Monday, and I’m just now getting around to watching last week’s episode. Let’s face it: this season is not exciting. I’m not looking for manufactured drama, but these people are seriously killing my will to watch this show. I am so bored, that I am not even going to stop knitting while watching. So there, Project Runway!!!! This is going to be exactly like all of my other musings about Project Runway, except five hundred words shorter.

Observations: the guys are dropping like flies. Usually the women get picked off early and often, but that pattern hasn’t held up this season.

This week’s challenge, according to Heidi, is colorful. The designers meet Tim Gunn and Martine, some Macy’s shill, in the workroom, and are told that they’ll be working with the color blue. This is a one-day, team challenge. The winner gets to design a holiday dress that will be sold at Macy’s (but each team is presenting two designs, neither of which is said holiday dress). Also, teams??? What did I say before about manufactured drama? Anyway, each of the remaining 10 designers will sketch something, and Martine the Macy’s lady will choose the designers of her five favorites.

The  team leaders are Irina, Althea (a two-time team leader, and probably the only person in the history of this program who has ever enjoyed team challenges), Carol Hannah, Christopher, and Louise. Althea gets to pick her partner first, and she chooses Logan. I wonder how Carol Hannah feels about that. Christopher chooses Epperson, Louise chooses Nicolas (who has immunity), Irina lets the remaining two people choose who wants to work with her, and Gordana says she will first, so Carol Hannah and Shirin end up being a team. Shirin had such promise in the beginning, and seems to have faded; also, her maniacal chatter, which was highlighted in the last episode, can not have endeared her to the others.

The teams have 20 minutes and $100 to spend at Mood, and because of how huge it would be to have a dress at Macy’s, the winner will not get immunity. I loves those kinds of challenges! Nobody gets to coast next week. Haha! Louise almost loses the money while at Mood. She says that she loses her head when she’s in the thick of a challenge.

I can’t decide what is more entertaining: the teams that start to implode almost immediately (Louise and Nicolas, who starts talking smack about her soon after returning to the workroom), or those that experience slow meltdowns (Irina and Gordana). Notes: Nicolas really really really hates ruffles. Irina is such a good underminer. Do the other contestants know how evil she is? I can’t tell. Christopher feels that he and Epperson are the team to beat.

I love Gordana, but I kind of want to see somebody “as they say, throw [her] on the bus.” If only she knew how supportive that action would be.

Heidi greets the designers on the runway, looking as though she popped in on her way to bed. There’s nothing right about her outfit. I think her jeans are acid washed, but I want to keep respecting her, so I’m not going to look too closely. Sometimes I think the wardrobe people on this show are just messing with the contestants like, “See? When you’ve been in this industry for a while, you can make celebrities wear anything, no matter how awful.” If you think about it hard enough, it’s kind of inspiring.

The judges are Top American Designer, Michael Kors, who I’ve missed; Zanna Roberts, the adorable senior fashion editor of Marie Claire; and Martine. One of the designers will be named the winner, and one or more them will be out. Interesting. Evil Irina’s dress is lovely, but Gordana’s look is not as interesting to me. Althea and Logan’s first model comes out looking kind of h0-ish, especially because the slit at the back keeps growing as she walks along the runway. Awkward. The second look is okay, but nothing special. Louise’s looks are not remarkable, but Nicolas hates them. Carol Hannah’s two looks are super, although, like Tim Gunn, the less I say about leggings, the better. Christopher and Epperson’s shirt dress is okay, but their second look is slightly old-maidish. When the scores are tallied, Althea and Logan are told that their scores are high enough to send them into the next round. Really? I can’t believe that the traveling slit wasn’t even mentioned. How’d Kors let that one go without even a comment? Maybe he’s taken up meditation in all the spare time he has from not appearing in any previous episodes of this show this season. Heidi tells Louise and Nicolas and Christopher and Epperson that their two teams have the lowest scores. I am a horrible person for finding the latter twosome’s expressions of disbelief so hilarious.

The teams with the highest scores get to hang out onstage while the losers slink away. Shirin and Carol Hannah are all sweetness and light, and the judges love their looks’ necklines. Evil Irina and Gordana’s looks get raves, but Heidi, smelling blood, asks them how it was to work together. Gordana tries to be diplomatic, but The Evil One says that Gordana’s shyness was a bit obnoxious, and she could have taken a more active role.

Then the other two teams come back out on the runway. The Heidi keeps saying “one, or more of you, will be out,” makes me hope that she takes somebody from each team. If that’s the case, we can say goodbye right now to Louise and Epperson. Later, kids! Much like Nicolas, the judges are not enamored of Louise’s ruffles. I wonder if he would have tried harder to change her mind or insert more of himself in their outfits if he didn’t have immunity this week. Heidi is baffled by the neckline of Christopher and Epperson’s shirt, and talking about that for approximately five seconds makes Christopher cry. The judges are also not sure why anybody would make a shiny shirt dress. Cosigned. Christopher sobs some more. Awww. This is actually a little heartbreaking.

Irina is named the winner. Evil has triumphed once again. Completely surprising me, Epperson is the first of the bottom-dwellers to be retained. Seriously? That guy has like nine lives or something. Also, he should never again work with anybody, ever, on anything. For real. I am suddenly afraid for Christopher, because it’s just him and Louise left onstage. Heidi says that Louise’s looks resemble “bad, overworked bridesmaids dresses.” Ouch. And yes. She tells Christopher that the only thing his items have in common is how clueless they are. Damn, Heidi. I would hate to hear this woman discipline her children. Christopher starts to cry again when he’s told that he’s in. I’m happy that he lives to design another day. That means, of course, that Louise is out. Like Shirin, who seems to have found some of her focus again this episode (or maybe just borrowed some from Carol Hannah), Louise started off excellently and degenerated noticeably throughout the competition. The Tivo cut off before the previews came, and I’m too lazy too google, so we shall find out next week’s challege…next week.

Until then.