The Sky is the Limit

Every week, I watch Project Runway later and later. It used to be that on Thursdays, when it aired, I would give my Tivo a twenty minute head start and then start to watch. Then I began to watch on Fridays. Then it was Saturday, then Sunday. It’s now Monday, and I’m just now getting around to watching last week’s episode. Let’s face it: this season is not exciting. I’m not looking for manufactured drama, but these people are seriously killing my will to watch this show. I am so bored, that I am not even going to stop knitting while watching. So there, Project Runway!!!! This is going to be exactly like all of my other musings about Project Runway, except five hundred words shorter.

Observations: the guys are dropping like flies. Usually the women get picked off early and often, but that pattern hasn’t held up this season.

This week’s challenge, according to Heidi, is colorful. The designers meet Tim Gunn and Martine, some Macy’s shill, in the workroom, and are told that they’ll be working with the color blue. This is a one-day, team challenge. The winner gets to design a holiday dress that will be sold at Macy’s (but each team is presenting two designs, neither of which is said holiday dress). Also, teams??? What did I say before about manufactured drama? Anyway, each of the remaining 10 designers will sketch something, and Martine the Macy’s lady will choose the designers of her five favorites.

The  team leaders are Irina, Althea (a two-time team leader, and probably the only person in the history of this program who has ever enjoyed team challenges), Carol Hannah, Christopher, and Louise. Althea gets to pick her partner first, and she chooses Logan. I wonder how Carol Hannah feels about that. Christopher chooses Epperson, Louise chooses Nicolas (who has immunity), Irina lets the remaining two people choose who wants to work with her, and Gordana says she will first, so Carol Hannah and Shirin end up being a team. Shirin had such promise in the beginning, and seems to have faded; also, her maniacal chatter, which was highlighted in the last episode, can not have endeared her to the others.

The teams have 20 minutes and $100 to spend at Mood, and because of how huge it would be to have a dress at Macy’s, the winner will not get immunity. I loves those kinds of challenges! Nobody gets to coast next week. Haha! Louise almost loses the money while at Mood. She says that she loses her head when she’s in the thick of a challenge.

I can’t decide what is more entertaining: the teams that start to implode almost immediately (Louise and Nicolas, who starts talking smack about her soon after returning to the workroom), or those that experience slow meltdowns (Irina and Gordana). Notes: Nicolas really really really hates ruffles. Irina is such a good underminer. Do the other contestants know how evil she is? I can’t tell. Christopher feels that he and Epperson are the team to beat.

I love Gordana, but I kind of want to see somebody “as they say, throw [her] on the bus.” If only she knew how supportive that action would be.

Heidi greets the designers on the runway, looking as though she popped in on her way to bed. There’s nothing right about her outfit. I think her jeans are acid washed, but I want to keep respecting her, so I’m not going to look too closely. Sometimes I think the wardrobe people on this show are just messing with the contestants like, “See? When you’ve been in this industry for a while, you can make celebrities wear anything, no matter how awful.” If you think about it hard enough, it’s kind of inspiring.

The judges are Top American Designer, Michael Kors, who I’ve missed; Zanna Roberts, the adorable senior fashion editor of Marie Claire; and Martine. One of the designers will be named the winner, and one or more them will be out. Interesting. Evil Irina’s dress is lovely, but Gordana’s look is not as interesting to me. Althea and Logan’s first model comes out looking kind of h0-ish, especially because the slit at the back keeps growing as she walks along the runway. Awkward. The second look is okay, but nothing special. Louise’s looks are not remarkable, but Nicolas hates them. Carol Hannah’s two looks are super, although, like Tim Gunn, the less I say about leggings, the better. Christopher and Epperson’s shirt dress is okay, but their second look is slightly old-maidish. When the scores are tallied, Althea and Logan are told that their scores are high enough to send them into the next round. Really? I can’t believe that the traveling slit wasn’t even mentioned. How’d Kors let that one go without even a comment? Maybe he’s taken up meditation in all the spare time he has from not appearing in any previous episodes of this show this season. Heidi tells Louise and Nicolas and Christopher and Epperson that their two teams have the lowest scores. I am a horrible person for finding the latter twosome’s expressions of disbelief so hilarious.

The teams with the highest scores get to hang out onstage while the losers slink away. Shirin and Carol Hannah are all sweetness and light, and the judges love their looks’ necklines. Evil Irina and Gordana’s looks get raves, but Heidi, smelling blood, asks them how it was to work together. Gordana tries to be diplomatic, but The Evil One says that Gordana’s shyness was a bit obnoxious, and she could have taken a more active role.

Then the other two teams come back out on the runway. The Heidi keeps saying “one, or more of you, will be out,” makes me hope that she takes somebody from each team. If that’s the case, we can say goodbye right now to Louise and Epperson. Later, kids! Much like Nicolas, the judges are not enamored of Louise’s ruffles. I wonder if he would have tried harder to change her mind or insert more of himself in their outfits if he didn’t have immunity this week. Heidi is baffled by the neckline of Christopher and Epperson’s shirt, and talking about that for approximately five seconds makes Christopher cry. The judges are also not sure why anybody would make a shiny shirt dress. Cosigned. Christopher sobs some more. Awww. This is actually a little heartbreaking.

Irina is named the winner. Evil has triumphed once again. Completely surprising me, Epperson is the first of the bottom-dwellers to be retained. Seriously? That guy has like nine lives or something. Also, he should never again work with anybody, ever, on anything. For real. I am suddenly afraid for Christopher, because it’s just him and Louise left onstage. Heidi says that Louise’s looks resemble “bad, overworked bridesmaids dresses.” Ouch. And yes. She tells Christopher that the only thing his items have in common is how clueless they are. Damn, Heidi. I would hate to hear this woman discipline her children. Christopher starts to cry again when he’s told that he’s in. I’m happy that he lives to design another day. That means, of course, that Louise is out. Like Shirin, who seems to have found some of her focus again this episode (or maybe just borrowed some from Carol Hannah), Louise started off excellently and degenerated noticeably throughout the competition. The Tivo cut off before the previews came, and I’m too lazy too google, so we shall find out next week’s challege…next week.

Until then.

What a woman wants

The fourth week of Project Runway starts with the guys talking about stepping up their game, now that the competition is getting harder. Nicholas says that the talentless people are going to get weeded out. One can only hope.

In Estrogenland, Qristyl is talking about how she is the b-i-t-c-h of the show. And I don’t know why she spelled that out, instead of saying it. Is she trying to protect the virgin ears of the younger designers? I really don’t understand anything about this woman, including how she made it this far. And then Gorgana, who is amazing (AMAZING!), succinctly explains that Spell Check’s troubles started because she didn’t stand up for herself early enough. She responds to this assistance by saying, “Anyway,” and completely ignoring Gordana. B-i-t-c-h!

Everybody’s ready to tackle the newest challenge. Heidi meets them on the runway and tells them that there are 13 women waiting for them in the workroom, and the assignment is to make these women happy. Who are these women? Their models. They’re happy, because they don’t have to sully themselves with the deformed bodies of people with greater than 5% body fat. Whew.

They have a decent amount of time to talk with the models, a good budget, and enough time to shop at Mood, so you know there has to be a catch: this is the first one-day challenge. Johnny, “It’s like designing something for myself, if I was a black girl.” I have no idea how to interpret that statement. Some of these girls have awful taste. It’s refreshing.

Watching the designers shop is informative. I could see them trying to incorporate the wishes of their clients into something that still represents them as designers. Spell Check’s model likes warm colors like brown and black, which of course isn’t Qristyl’s aesthetic, at all.

Althea called a smoking jacket, a cigarette jacket. She’s cute! Christopher’s green is GREEN. Wow. Spell Check’s work is a mess, as usual. Logan is unsure about his garment, and it shows. A lot of people are in trouble! Carol Hannah’s dress is cute on the bottom, but may be too old for the model. Oohh. Epperson calls his family, and cries while thinking about them, talking to them, and then back in the work room. How cute! Wow, I really like everything today. This just won’t do.

Spell Check decides to redo her dress entirely. Althea’s model thinks the dress is matronly, but Althea is like, “Whatever, walking hanger. Less of your opinions, more of my handwork.” Qristyl’s new dress is nice, but she’s not sure whether it’s too simple. For her, that’s probably the point at which she should stop. I doubt she’ll see it that way, though.

Logan keeps walking around shirtless. Please don’t get eliminated, please! He is by far the hottest designer. It’s fun to hear the designers try to be objective about each other’s work, because they’re all really opinionated. I like it when, like Irina, they just say what they think, without offering qualifiers.

Heidi is the only regular judge we have this week. Remember when the judges used to care about Tim Gunn’s input? I know that time was a year and a different network ago, but I miss those days. This week’s replacement judges are (not top) American designer Mark Bouwer; Marie Claire editor Zoe Glassner; and costume designer/celebrity stylist Jennifer Rade. Mark Bouwer’s hair is ridiculous and Jennifer Rade has crazy eyes. Zoe Glassner looks like somebody I could laugh with, and is as adorable here as she was in Running in Heels, a show that I never watched. I can’t even take Bouwer’s opinions seriously, because anybody who chooses to sport hair that tragic is immediately suspect in all other matters of judgment. I would like to know why there have been so many guest judges this season. Are Kors and Garcia getting too expensive or something? I miss them.

Amazingly, I didn’t hate Spell Check’s dress. It’s plain, but the back is kind of cute. I do not love Nicholas’s dress as much as he does, but then again, I never do. If self-confidence translated into judges’ votes, then Nicholas would be a three-time champion already this season. I love Irina’s dress. The pattern is doing a lot of the work for her, but the construction is great, too. I wish that I had Shirin’s dress. It’s lovely and that shade of purple is my favorite color. Logan’s dress looks like a cute prom dress. Epperson’s dress is great. Johnny’s dress is also a little prom-ish. The Queen Anne collar on Louise’s dress is amazing. That reminds me that I have a purple dress with that same neckline that I have yet to wear. Parties, my friends!!! Have more of them.

Althea’s three pieces are ambitious, and could go either way. Ra’Mon’s look is just alright, but he has immunity from last week, so whatever. Carol Hannah’s dress is striking. Wow. Not many of the looks that I love made it to the best of/worst of part of the judging. Sorry, Irina and Louise. I hope that your consistently excellent work will be recognized at some point during this season.

Carol Hannah is one of the goods. She says “y’all” and utterly charms Heidi. The key word when judging Logan is “prom.” So I wasn’t alone on that. Also, and this is a direct quote from Jennifer Rade, another one of the guest judges, “You’re really cute, and I like your pants and your sneakers.” You thought I was being shallow before, but I know how this show works! Logan good-naturedly says that he hopes that that factors into the judging. Epperson’s dress is also one of the good looks. I’m glad he was able to rebound from last week. Mark Bouwer thinks the dress is great, and Heidi likes it too, but thinks that the model’s girls should have been hoisted. She then concedes that that might be a product of having modeled for Victoria’s Secret for so long: everything always has to be perky. Johnny is one of the bad looks and one of the judges utters the word “bridesmaid.” Ouch, but I can see it. Qristyl is getting crap for the safety of her choice. Still, it’s better than anything else she’s produced so far during this show.  Her model says that she really likes the dress, which the judges think ages her, but then Jen Rade slams that door quickly by pointing out that the model is a model, and isn’t a designer. I don’t think any of the “no” looks onstage right now is awful, but it has to be Qristyl who goes home. Like Mitchell before her, she’s just appeared too many times in the bottom three. I think that Althea is going to win this one, although the more I think about it, the better I like Carol Hannah’s dress.

Judging: Epperson touches hands with Qristyl as he leaves the stage, and I’m glad to see that their bad blood from last week is cleared before Qristyl has to pack up. Oops! I’m just guessing here, folks, but all signs point to a better-spelled future for this season of Project Runway.  Althea is named the winner and is greeted backstage with sincere hugs and smiles. Carol Hannah and Johnny are told they can leave, so it’s either the bad designer or the hot dude who has to go home.

Gee, what do you know? Qristyl has to go home. Later, Spell Check! As Logan leaves the stage, he tries to give her a pat, which she turns into a hug. He breaks free as soon as humanly possible, as if her crappy design skills are catching. Like every other person who has been kicked off this show, Qristyl KNOWS THAT SHE’S A GREAT DESIGNER, and she has SO MUCH MORE TO SHOW THE WORLD, which she DIDN’T GET THE CHANCE to do, because she was definitely SENT HOME TOO SOON. Did I cover all the cliches? Just how many more chances would she have needed to mess up before this mythical wowing would have taken place? I fear that the average human life cycle does not contain the necessary number of weeks. Anyway, we no longer have to care about Spell Check, because we will not see her again until the reunion show, by which time I almost certainly will have forgotten her. I love reading my old reviews from last season, and realizing that if I passed almost any of the designers from last season, take Keith for example, while walking down the street, I would maybe find his face familiar but not recognize him at all.

Project Runway Withdrawal

Despite the fact that Season 5 of Project Runway was not as compelling as earlier cycles, I miss the show. I miss ragging on Kenley, disdaining Suede’s overuse of the third person, oohing over Korto’s colors, and being completely blown away by Leanne’s visions. I am sad that there’s no more Top American Designer Michael Kors to make jokes about “Becky Home Ec-y” and whatnot, and Nina to be so unimpressed that she had no words. Now that the show is over for an undetermined amount of time, what’s going on in the PR universe?

• NBC Universal’s lawsuit against Lifetime TV has moved to federal court!!
• Entertainment Weekly does a Q&A with Leanne Marshall, Season 5 winner
• Chloe Dao (looking HOT), showed her new collection, seemingly to great approval

Showdown at Bryant Park

The Project Runway season 5 finale aired tonight, on the same night as the final presidential debate. I don’t know what to say, other than that whoever schedules the debates should be fired. You should not force the electorate to choose between two viable options. Thankfully, in this election, television is the only venue where this is currently an issue.

It seems that Kenley found the brattiness that she had APOLOGIZED for and toned down last week. Not that I thought she was being genuine then, but tonight she didn’t even bother to pretend. Cow. So anyway, she got on Leanne’s last nerve when they were picking models, and I can see how having Kenley’s delusional self trying to define your line for you and cast your fashion show might make you want to do her bodily harm. I just don’t get how Leanne restrained herself. Along with the wild overconfidence in her own designs came the other thing that she hid last week: her total contempt for Tim Gunn. Kenley was as rude and defensive as ever, and I can see that Tim washed his hands of her completely; he said his bit, realized that she was ignoring him, and walked away with an eye roll and a funny look at the camera. It it were either of the other two designers, I might have thought that that was the “Girls are weird” look, but since it was Kenley, I’m pretty sure it was more along the lines of “Bitch crazy.”

I liked Korto and Leanne’s more measured responses to Tim Gunn. She listened to him, and thought about what he said before commiting to a course of action. WHOA. Kenley actually did think about what Tim said, and changed something accordingly. It was never an issue of doing exactly what Tim said, but at least just listening to what he said.

And Korto decided to scrap two of her looks, which means that she had to design two new outfits during their work week. That is just nutty! During the prep parts of the episode, they kept showing her working on her new dresses. I feel like that should have been a better way to fix what she’d done, without creating two entirely new looks.

Now we’re off to the makeup part of the day. BORING! I like to wear makeup, but I don’t care about hearing the designers plan their models’ faces. It did crack me up, though, that Kenley wanted her models made up like pinup girls. This is my shocked face. Hair was also terribly uninspiring. I understand that designers have to think about every part of their models’ looks, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to find all of it interesting.

LOL. Kenley and Leanne interviewed about each others’ collections, and they both hated what the other had done.

Oh my goodness, there was a dog in the work room. I was wondering what would happen if the dog pooped or peed on a design, but thankfully she only did it on the floor. Which was bad enough, but then the model cleaned it up while wearing one of Leanne’s dresses! Nuts! I am impressed that Leanne didn’t have a nervous breakdown right there, because I know that I would have lost my mind that happened to me.

On the morning of the show, the designers got up super early (it was still dark out when they got to the tent), and they talked about their nerves and hopes. Plus, they were all stoked that their families were in attendance. I was actually excited for all of them! But Oh! No! One of Jerell’s uglyass tree headbands was growing right out of Kenley’s head! All three designers were given fashion students as assistants, and Kenley talked about how hers were not allowed to touch her hand-painted dress, because she was the only one who knew how to handle and iron it. So of course the next shot is of Kenley allowing the dress she was ironing to fall to the floor. Way to show ’em, Kenley! Then, when were done laughing at Kenley, there were shots of celebrities, like Michelle Trachtenberg, and former contestants, such as last season’s winner Christian Siriano and season 2’s Uncle Nick.

Uh oh. One of Leanne’s looks ended up being weirdly limp and big on her model, so she had to switch her into a different dress. And Kenley managed to make a huge production of fitting the gorgeous Topazio into a dress and basically implied that Topazio was a fat fat fatty. Jerk. Heidi looked amazing (AMAZING) when presenting the designers and welcoming the crowd.  Heidi revealed that Jennifer Lopez was supposed to be the guest judge, but had to bow out due to a “foot injury.”  I’m sorry to hear that the former Flyy Girl was injured, but thank goodness it did not prevent her from kicking butt two days later in the Miami triathlon. I’m glad to know that it’s more taxing on one’s foot to sit down and judge a fashion show than it is to complete a triathlon. Going on this logic, I’ve decided that I will go out and win the Ironman just as soon as I recover from uploading this post.

So I have no respect for Jennifer Lopez for backing out at the last minute with such a flimsy excuse, but I love how Tim Gunn ended up being the guest judge. The designers, as you might expect, were not happy to have someone so knowledable about what was NOT good about their collections be the fourth judge, but I had to rewind a few times because I loved it when Kenley said, “Are you kidding?! Okay, maybe I should have improved my attitude.” Kenley? Realizing that her poor attitude might have screwed her out of winning this competition? Priceless! Tim said that he wouldn’t hold anything that he already knew against the designers, but I wonder how well he’ll be able to distance his judging from what he already knew.

Kenley went first. I didn’t love her collection, but it was well made and I totally believe that those pieces were her dream wardobe. I think she did an excellent job of realizing her vision, even if I wouldn’t want any of those clothes. Okay, I take it back, I’d wear the hell out of the little black dress and that cream dress with the flower pattern crossing diagonally across the front.

Korto’s collection was second. I loved most of it. I’m not sure about the longer of the new dresses. I loved how into it Korto’s relatives were. I appreciate that every item is something that would look good against my skin tone (I know that I would not necessarily look good in a lot of that).

While I loved loved loved Korto’s collection, Leanne‘s was just a different level of awesome. Her stuff was just so interesting and flattering, it’s like she was in a different, more complex competition. It wasn’t even fair to poor Kenley and Korto. Leanne definitely got the largest applause.
After the runway shows, former contestants and judges weighed in on whose work they thought was best. Chris March and Rami liked Korto (which surprises me; I would have pegged Rami as a Leanne kind of guy), Uncle Nick thought that Leanne’s work was ready for Elle Magazine, and Daniel’s endorsement of Kenley’s work showed that his taste has in no way improved since he was auff’d. Fern Mallis congratulated Kenley, but I’m not convinced that Kenley is the only one who received congrats from Ms. Mallis. I think this was a case of judicious editing. Nice try, editors, but we know that nobody in their right mind would have preferred Kenley’s collection to the other two!

The judges were kind to Kenley, and complimented her hand-painting, although the only negative thing that they said was that one of her dresses resembled Balenciaga. Kenley conceded that she needed to learn what’s going on in fashion, so she doesn’t keep recreating the looks of other designers.

Korto’s collection got mostly high marks, and the judges complimented how she wove her heritage and point of viwe into what she did, although they thought that some of the pieces were still overworked.

Leanne’s collection was praised for the diversity of her looks, but they were concerned that she had too many petals, and that it was too one-note. True, but they were so beautiful. I can see why the judges were concerend about how that would translate to the 40-look collection.

It was great to listen to the judges decide who won. I’m really glad I didn’t watch this live, or else I might have puked from nerves. I don’t know how the designers stood that kind of pressure while waiting for the verdict.

Kenley was out first. This is what I expected. She did not take it well. I expected this, too. Yay! Leanne won! I really thought she must have when I saw the collections last month, but it’s good to have confirmation. I felt bad for Korto and (to a lesser extent) Kenley, and I really wish both of them awesome, fulfilling careers in fashion. How much do I love the fact that Leanne had to record a Saturn commercial pretty much immediately after winning? So so much! She’s super crunchy and from Oregon and you know she probably doesn’t even drive (non-drivers, represent)!

This wasn’t the most exciting season of Project Runway ever, but I did end up enjoying it and the way it concluded.

The one where everybody cries

So Project Runway may not be leaving Bravo for Lifetime. Hallelujah! I don’t want my fashion tainted by association with women in danger and endless Tori Spelling movies.

The four remaining designers were really stressed out this week, in their final runway show before New York Fashion Week. Their challenge was to create an evening gown, and everybody felt the pressure. There were tears and mini breakdowns and bleary eyes and glasses instead of contact lenses, and it was pretty much awesome. All of anti-Kenley hostility that has been simmering for the last several weeks kind of exploded tonight. Leanne, Korto, and former Mean Girl Jerell all made very little attempt to hide their contempt for Kenley. As usual, it was pretty impossible for me to feel bad for her, since she caused a lot of this with her poor attitude and misplaced sense of superiority.

The other designers and the judges all made mention of her attitude, and she basically acted as though the lot of them were making it up. Top American Designer* Michael Kors had it right – how well is Kenley going to in an industry where one’s creative vision may not be appreciated or shared by those on whom one depends for one’s livelihood? Not everybody is going to agree that Kenley is a genius, and she should probably be prepared to think about criticism and evaluate its relevance before dismissing it completely. I like how the guest judge this week, Georgina *married to one half of the bazillionaire duo who produces this show* Chapman was like, “I do not see what I thought I would,” about Kenley. There were no floral prints or 50’s shapes, but the defensiveness was there and Mrs. Bazillionaire still seemed singularly unimpressed.

So what did I think about the way the judges chose to end this challenge? I thought it was pretty darn awesome. Why? Because it’s tv! Drama is always appreciated, as long as it’s is somehow justifiable and not just for the sake of being dramatic. Kenley and Korto have made enough great things on this show that it makes sense that neither of them would be easy to send home. I think that I have been inspired by Heidi Klum, Nina Garcia, and Top American Designer Michael Kors, who have been on the receiving end of several of Kenley’s eye rolls, sighs, and ridiculous responses, and still thought that she deserved a chance to compete for a spot at Fashion Week. I also like that nobody gets to rest on his or her laurels. It would have been easy to do what they did last year and only have two people compete for the final spot, but this adds intrigue and an extra bit of motivation that Jerell and Leanne might otherwise be without.

I always like to see what the designers can come up with when they have much more money, time, and sleep to bring their vision to life. I can’t wait for next week, because it’s always fun to see how time away from each other and watching the episodes at home influences how the designers interact when they reunite for the clip show.

The designers:

I really am impressed with how un-ridiculous Jerell’s stuff is of late. Sure, his dress tonight did need a bit of work, but compared to what he was cranking out the first few weeks of this season, his improvement is nothing short of inspiring. Like Kenley, Jerell has been known to talk smack and offer a mean running commentary about others’ work. Unlike Kenley, Jerell’s work mostly backs up that talk.

There’s a special place in my heart for Leanne, who managed to fight her way out of thin, brunette anonymity to become recognizable not only by her face but also by her interesting designs. She’s another one whose first few weeks of work definitely didn’t seem promising, but I’m glad that she’s stuck around. Her designers are infinitely wearable and show a lot of thought and work. Plus, she seems to dislike Kenley quite a bit, which only makes me love her more.

Nobody needs to be told that I am rooting for Korto, right? I love her sense of color and style, and would happily wear whatever she chose to put me in. She’s funny, but knows how to shut a person up when that is called for. I think it’s telling that Kenley hates Korto’s stuff, since the things that Korto makes often seem like they did actually originate in the twenty-first century.

Last, both in my affections and this wrap-up, is Kenley. The girl’s got talent; I’m not going to lie. And I’ve got the shape to rock a 50’s style frock, so I really do appreciate her designs. My main problem with her, aside from the fact that she only ever produces some slight variation on one pattern, is that she has the worst attitude of any Project Runway contestant ever. EVER! And this is the show that gave us Wendy Pepper and Santino Rice. I’ve never seen anybody so unwilling to accept criticism and responsibility for her own choices. Self-confidence is great. It’s necessary, and it’s how you advance yourself through life, but too much is just as damaging as too little. Why can’t she just think about what people say to her, instead of mouthing off? If I mute her while I’m waching the show, I am usually much more inclined to like what she’s done.

* I love this designation and will never again say this man’s name without using what is not doubt a contractually-obligated phrase.