Sydney Tamiia Poitier: I love you, but I hate your…

In this, the first ever edition of “I love you, but I hate your…”, I will tackle the conundrum of people I like doing or participating in things I hate. Our inaugural subject is Sydney Tamiia Poitier.

Sydney Tamiia Poitier, I love you, but I hate your show.

There are a lot of things to love about this actress:

• She basically has the easiest job ever of mooching off her father’s fame, due to having his name and all.
• She’s gorgeous, successful, and has boobs and hips!
• She was on two of the best shows ever to appear on television: Veronica Mars and Joan of Arcadia!!
• Her initials are the same as the Stone Temple Pilots, a fabulously awesome band.

There are at least as many things to hate about her show:

• She’s appearing in a remake of Knight Rider. My childhood weeps.
• Life is up against this show, and is not necessarily expected to emerge the victor.
• I’m scared of a world where the 2008 version of Knight Rider is a ratings juggernaut.
• Why are people still interested in a program about a talking, crime-fighting car? This show makes me think less of people.
• Thinking about her means that I think about Knight Rider, which means I think about David Hasselhoff. Please, don’t make me think about the Hoff.

Burn!

(Why do we use extreme temperatures to illustrate that something that is really bad? At first, I almost called this post “That’s cold.”)

So it turns out that maybe the Weinsteins and Lifetime had a point, and NBC Universal/Bravo didn’t want to pick up the option on the new season of Project Runway. So why the delay, then? Um, maybe because Bravo has a Project Runway knockoff in the works and is using this injunction to get a leg up on their competition? Machiavellian. Bravo, indeed.

The Axe has fallen

Poor Elizabeth Reaser. I hated Jane Doe/Ava/Rebecca, her character on Grey’s Anatomy, but never had a problem with her as an actress. I watched her new show, The Ex-List, since it premiered. I thought it was worth watching, even though Bella, her character did some boneheaded things and didn’t always make smart decisions. I was interested in most of the characters (except for Cyrus, who seemed superfluous), and wanted to see where things were headed. Even though I wondered how long the conceit of Bella always dating a guy from her past could be maintained (and what would happen if the show lasted longer than a year), I was willing not to let my skepticism ruin the experience. So too bad CBS canceled The Ex-List already. The show didn’t even last a month. Boo!

In other tv news, Life, one of the shows that I most enjoy, has (maybe) been given a new lease on…life. Sorry. It’s been moved out of the Friday night ghetto, into a prime Wednesday night time spot. Of course, this means that the show will actually have to earn better ratings, but I hope that the change in night will draw in viewers. Damian Lewis and Sarah Shahi are amazing in their roles, and even though I loathe the part that Donal Logue is playing (what purpose does Tidwell serve?), I always welcome the chance to watch him on tv.

Project Runway Withdrawal

Despite the fact that Season 5 of Project Runway was not as compelling as earlier cycles, I miss the show. I miss ragging on Kenley, disdaining Suede’s overuse of the third person, oohing over Korto’s colors, and being completely blown away by Leanne’s visions. I am sad that there’s no more Top American Designer Michael Kors to make jokes about “Becky Home Ec-y” and whatnot, and Nina to be so unimpressed that she had no words. Now that the show is over for an undetermined amount of time, what’s going on in the PR universe?

• NBC Universal’s lawsuit against Lifetime TV has moved to federal court!!
• Entertainment Weekly does a Q&A with Leanne Marshall, Season 5 winner
• Chloe Dao (looking HOT), showed her new collection, seemingly to great approval

Showdown at Bryant Park

The Project Runway season 5 finale aired tonight, on the same night as the final presidential debate. I don’t know what to say, other than that whoever schedules the debates should be fired. You should not force the electorate to choose between two viable options. Thankfully, in this election, television is the only venue where this is currently an issue.

It seems that Kenley found the brattiness that she had APOLOGIZED for and toned down last week. Not that I thought she was being genuine then, but tonight she didn’t even bother to pretend. Cow. So anyway, she got on Leanne’s last nerve when they were picking models, and I can see how having Kenley’s delusional self trying to define your line for you and cast your fashion show might make you want to do her bodily harm. I just don’t get how Leanne restrained herself. Along with the wild overconfidence in her own designs came the other thing that she hid last week: her total contempt for Tim Gunn. Kenley was as rude and defensive as ever, and I can see that Tim washed his hands of her completely; he said his bit, realized that she was ignoring him, and walked away with an eye roll and a funny look at the camera. It it were either of the other two designers, I might have thought that that was the “Girls are weird” look, but since it was Kenley, I’m pretty sure it was more along the lines of “Bitch crazy.”

I liked Korto and Leanne’s more measured responses to Tim Gunn. She listened to him, and thought about what he said before commiting to a course of action. WHOA. Kenley actually did think about what Tim said, and changed something accordingly. It was never an issue of doing exactly what Tim said, but at least just listening to what he said.

And Korto decided to scrap two of her looks, which means that she had to design two new outfits during their work week. That is just nutty! During the prep parts of the episode, they kept showing her working on her new dresses. I feel like that should have been a better way to fix what she’d done, without creating two entirely new looks.

Now we’re off to the makeup part of the day. BORING! I like to wear makeup, but I don’t care about hearing the designers plan their models’ faces. It did crack me up, though, that Kenley wanted her models made up like pinup girls. This is my shocked face. Hair was also terribly uninspiring. I understand that designers have to think about every part of their models’ looks, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to find all of it interesting.

LOL. Kenley and Leanne interviewed about each others’ collections, and they both hated what the other had done.

Oh my goodness, there was a dog in the work room. I was wondering what would happen if the dog pooped or peed on a design, but thankfully she only did it on the floor. Which was bad enough, but then the model cleaned it up while wearing one of Leanne’s dresses! Nuts! I am impressed that Leanne didn’t have a nervous breakdown right there, because I know that I would have lost my mind that happened to me.

On the morning of the show, the designers got up super early (it was still dark out when they got to the tent), and they talked about their nerves and hopes. Plus, they were all stoked that their families were in attendance. I was actually excited for all of them! But Oh! No! One of Jerell’s uglyass tree headbands was growing right out of Kenley’s head! All three designers were given fashion students as assistants, and Kenley talked about how hers were not allowed to touch her hand-painted dress, because she was the only one who knew how to handle and iron it. So of course the next shot is of Kenley allowing the dress she was ironing to fall to the floor. Way to show ’em, Kenley! Then, when were done laughing at Kenley, there were shots of celebrities, like Michelle Trachtenberg, and former contestants, such as last season’s winner Christian Siriano and season 2’s Uncle Nick.

Uh oh. One of Leanne’s looks ended up being weirdly limp and big on her model, so she had to switch her into a different dress. And Kenley managed to make a huge production of fitting the gorgeous Topazio into a dress and basically implied that Topazio was a fat fat fatty. Jerk. Heidi looked amazing (AMAZING) when presenting the designers and welcoming the crowd.  Heidi revealed that Jennifer Lopez was supposed to be the guest judge, but had to bow out due to a “foot injury.”  I’m sorry to hear that the former Flyy Girl was injured, but thank goodness it did not prevent her from kicking butt two days later in the Miami triathlon. I’m glad to know that it’s more taxing on one’s foot to sit down and judge a fashion show than it is to complete a triathlon. Going on this logic, I’ve decided that I will go out and win the Ironman just as soon as I recover from uploading this post.

So I have no respect for Jennifer Lopez for backing out at the last minute with such a flimsy excuse, but I love how Tim Gunn ended up being the guest judge. The designers, as you might expect, were not happy to have someone so knowledable about what was NOT good about their collections be the fourth judge, but I had to rewind a few times because I loved it when Kenley said, “Are you kidding?! Okay, maybe I should have improved my attitude.” Kenley? Realizing that her poor attitude might have screwed her out of winning this competition? Priceless! Tim said that he wouldn’t hold anything that he already knew against the designers, but I wonder how well he’ll be able to distance his judging from what he already knew.

Kenley went first. I didn’t love her collection, but it was well made and I totally believe that those pieces were her dream wardobe. I think she did an excellent job of realizing her vision, even if I wouldn’t want any of those clothes. Okay, I take it back, I’d wear the hell out of the little black dress and that cream dress with the flower pattern crossing diagonally across the front.

Korto’s collection was second. I loved most of it. I’m not sure about the longer of the new dresses. I loved how into it Korto’s relatives were. I appreciate that every item is something that would look good against my skin tone (I know that I would not necessarily look good in a lot of that).

While I loved loved loved Korto’s collection, Leanne‘s was just a different level of awesome. Her stuff was just so interesting and flattering, it’s like she was in a different, more complex competition. It wasn’t even fair to poor Kenley and Korto. Leanne definitely got the largest applause.
After the runway shows, former contestants and judges weighed in on whose work they thought was best. Chris March and Rami liked Korto (which surprises me; I would have pegged Rami as a Leanne kind of guy), Uncle Nick thought that Leanne’s work was ready for Elle Magazine, and Daniel’s endorsement of Kenley’s work showed that his taste has in no way improved since he was auff’d. Fern Mallis congratulated Kenley, but I’m not convinced that Kenley is the only one who received congrats from Ms. Mallis. I think this was a case of judicious editing. Nice try, editors, but we know that nobody in their right mind would have preferred Kenley’s collection to the other two!

The judges were kind to Kenley, and complimented her hand-painting, although the only negative thing that they said was that one of her dresses resembled Balenciaga. Kenley conceded that she needed to learn what’s going on in fashion, so she doesn’t keep recreating the looks of other designers.

Korto’s collection got mostly high marks, and the judges complimented how she wove her heritage and point of viwe into what she did, although they thought that some of the pieces were still overworked.

Leanne’s collection was praised for the diversity of her looks, but they were concerned that she had too many petals, and that it was too one-note. True, but they were so beautiful. I can see why the judges were concerend about how that would translate to the 40-look collection.

It was great to listen to the judges decide who won. I’m really glad I didn’t watch this live, or else I might have puked from nerves. I don’t know how the designers stood that kind of pressure while waiting for the verdict.

Kenley was out first. This is what I expected. She did not take it well. I expected this, too. Yay! Leanne won! I really thought she must have when I saw the collections last month, but it’s good to have confirmation. I felt bad for Korto and (to a lesser extent) Kenley, and I really wish both of them awesome, fulfilling careers in fashion. How much do I love the fact that Leanne had to record a Saturn commercial pretty much immediately after winning? So so much! She’s super crunchy and from Oregon and you know she probably doesn’t even drive (non-drivers, represent)!

This wasn’t the most exciting season of Project Runway ever, but I did end up enjoying it and the way it concluded.

Recap of Monday night tv

I didn’t watch as much television today as I thought I might. I watched yesterday’s Gossip Girl, Heroes, and Chuck, and read parts of several books. Heroes was better than it was last week but I’m convinced that it is essentially a really stupid show, so my praise falls into the category of “faint.” Gossip Girl was pretty good; there was a great catfight between Serena and the ever more deranged Blair, and pretty much every character came out looking interesting (except Dan Humphrey, because Dan Humphrey is the definition of boring). So that was fun. Hands down, though, Chuck was the winner of the night.

The plots of Chuck are pretty standard – spy stuff, stunt casting, more spy stuff, wacky hijinks!, meaningful character interaction, and the conclusion to the spy stuff; so it’s the non-spy stuff that really makes this program. This episode saw the return of Bryce Larkin, Chuck’s former college roommate and Sarah’s former partner who used to be dead but isn’t anymore, and who stuck the intersect in Chuck’s head in the first place. I like Bryce, because he’s kind of like a younger, hotter, American James Bond, and he’s so freaking sexy that I don’t actually mind his visits, even though they’re always bad news for Chuck.

So anyway, this episode was really well-acted, and managed to address one of the things about this show that has been bothering people since the fifth episode of last year: how useful can Chuck continue to be if the information in the Intersect is never updated? Did all of those bad guys stop doing bad things once the government compiled their information? Extremely doubtful. So thanks, Bryce, for leaving those shades for Chuck. And thanks, Chuck, for being dumb enough to take anything from Bryce Larkin. Bryce, who seemed to still have serious feelings for Sarah, watched the way she interacted with Chuck and realized that the two were totally in love, and not just acting out their cover. That love ended up getting in the way of the stated mission several times today, and directly led to Chuck getting fired from his cover job, Sarah ignoring the mission to rescue him, and then being unable to shoot a suspect, for fear of hitting Chuck (in an earlier, similar scenario with Bryce being held by the baddie, Sarah had no problem shooting the bad dude right in the middle of the forehead).

Chuck finally faced the facts: he and Sarah are never going to be a normal couple with a normal life, even when he’s no longer the Intersect (Chuck’s not yet aware that, if the General has her way, he’s going to be eliminated as soon as the new Intersect is functional). He’s not going to know stuff about her, he’s not going to be able to know what’s really going on in her life, and she’s so awesome that she can’t possibly be expected to do normal. In a scene filled with appropriate face-redness and blinking, Chuck breaks up with Sarah, who’s totally sad and moved, too. It was awesome.

Also awesome? Michael Strahan as a jock bully from the sporting goods store in the same shopping complex at the Buy More. Athletes usually make  terrible actors (see: Anderson, Brady on Sabrina the Teenage Witch – it’s been over a decade and I’m still rolling my eyes over that appearance), but Strahan was a natural. He didn’t mug for the camera or chew scenery, and he injected just the right amount of menace into the role of Mitt (horrible name, btw) to make me buy it. They should bring him back to sit on Nicole Richie, who put the “stunt” in stuntcasting and will be in next week’s episode for a girlfight with Sarah. I refuse to link to her, because if you’re reading this blog, you know who Nicole Ritchie is. Can they bring back Rachel Bilson? I really liked Lou, and Chuck could use some awesome-but-normal love right now.

Jerell speaks

I know that several tv shows and web sites get interviews with outgoing Project Runway contestants once they’ve been auff’d, but I’ve never really sought out those print, web, or television appearances. I’m interested in the program itself, and not so much what happens outside of it. Today, though, I read an interview that Jerell did with Entertainment Weekly, and it made me think well of him. I give him credit for his incredibly charitable view of Kenley’s behavior and of his own ouster, and wish him all the success in the world! I am sure that I mentioned that Jerell’s designs really grew on me over the course of the competition; in the beginning, I was convinced that he was one of the weakest links, and by the time he was judged off the show, I was sure that he had been robbed! It was pretty classy of him not to pick a favorite New York Fashion Week collection done by the remaining designers; I don’t think anybody could have blamed him for having an opinion, and I think it’s sweet that he kept it to himself.

Jerked

Poor Jerell. He really really really deserved to go to Fashion Week. And based on his performance over a significant part of the competition, he should have been a shoe-in. And the items that he showed this week were not even close to his best work, but they weren’t the worst pieces on the runway.

And then there’s Kenley. Kenley’s previous efforts and actions should have earned her a one-way ticket to Brooklyn. But they didn’t. And this week, she really showed me something I didn’t expect from her: talent, not filtered through her tremendous self-involvement, but just plain talent. It was impressive, and helped me believe that she wasn’t kept just to add controversy and color to the show. The reprieve that she was granted last week (not that she’ll ever believe there was any possibility that she’d be sent home) means that Kenley was judged on what she did this week, and not what she showed last week. And even though her improved attitude was as genuine as a four-dollar bill, the high caliber of her dresses was undeniable. So she should have stayed, and the judges did make the correct decision regarding Kenley.

By now, it should be plain that Leanne is a genius at design and construction, and there’s no way that anybody with eyes could ever question whether she deserved to show in Fashion Week. So we move on to Korto.

We know that I love love love Korto. And though I thought that she did not receive the recognition she deserved earlier in the season, the fact remains that her wedding dress and bridesmaid’s dress? Were not up to the level of the items made by the others. And Korto, my beloved Korto, deserved to go home.

But she didn’t! Jerell was sent home and I do not agree at all. And I’ve seen Korto’s fashion week collection and I definitely preferred it to Jerell’s, but the judges couldn’t know this! Based on what was shown, Leanne, Kenley, and Jerell should have been in, and Korto should have been one of the decoy designers. Boo!

The one where everybody cries

So Project Runway may not be leaving Bravo for Lifetime. Hallelujah! I don’t want my fashion tainted by association with women in danger and endless Tori Spelling movies.

The four remaining designers were really stressed out this week, in their final runway show before New York Fashion Week. Their challenge was to create an evening gown, and everybody felt the pressure. There were tears and mini breakdowns and bleary eyes and glasses instead of contact lenses, and it was pretty much awesome. All of anti-Kenley hostility that has been simmering for the last several weeks kind of exploded tonight. Leanne, Korto, and former Mean Girl Jerell all made very little attempt to hide their contempt for Kenley. As usual, it was pretty impossible for me to feel bad for her, since she caused a lot of this with her poor attitude and misplaced sense of superiority.

The other designers and the judges all made mention of her attitude, and she basically acted as though the lot of them were making it up. Top American Designer* Michael Kors had it right – how well is Kenley going to in an industry where one’s creative vision may not be appreciated or shared by those on whom one depends for one’s livelihood? Not everybody is going to agree that Kenley is a genius, and she should probably be prepared to think about criticism and evaluate its relevance before dismissing it completely. I like how the guest judge this week, Georgina *married to one half of the bazillionaire duo who produces this show* Chapman was like, “I do not see what I thought I would,” about Kenley. There were no floral prints or 50’s shapes, but the defensiveness was there and Mrs. Bazillionaire still seemed singularly unimpressed.

So what did I think about the way the judges chose to end this challenge? I thought it was pretty darn awesome. Why? Because it’s tv! Drama is always appreciated, as long as it’s is somehow justifiable and not just for the sake of being dramatic. Kenley and Korto have made enough great things on this show that it makes sense that neither of them would be easy to send home. I think that I have been inspired by Heidi Klum, Nina Garcia, and Top American Designer Michael Kors, who have been on the receiving end of several of Kenley’s eye rolls, sighs, and ridiculous responses, and still thought that she deserved a chance to compete for a spot at Fashion Week. I also like that nobody gets to rest on his or her laurels. It would have been easy to do what they did last year and only have two people compete for the final spot, but this adds intrigue and an extra bit of motivation that Jerell and Leanne might otherwise be without.

I always like to see what the designers can come up with when they have much more money, time, and sleep to bring their vision to life. I can’t wait for next week, because it’s always fun to see how time away from each other and watching the episodes at home influences how the designers interact when they reunite for the clip show.

The designers:

I really am impressed with how un-ridiculous Jerell’s stuff is of late. Sure, his dress tonight did need a bit of work, but compared to what he was cranking out the first few weeks of this season, his improvement is nothing short of inspiring. Like Kenley, Jerell has been known to talk smack and offer a mean running commentary about others’ work. Unlike Kenley, Jerell’s work mostly backs up that talk.

There’s a special place in my heart for Leanne, who managed to fight her way out of thin, brunette anonymity to become recognizable not only by her face but also by her interesting designs. She’s another one whose first few weeks of work definitely didn’t seem promising, but I’m glad that she’s stuck around. Her designers are infinitely wearable and show a lot of thought and work. Plus, she seems to dislike Kenley quite a bit, which only makes me love her more.

Nobody needs to be told that I am rooting for Korto, right? I love her sense of color and style, and would happily wear whatever she chose to put me in. She’s funny, but knows how to shut a person up when that is called for. I think it’s telling that Kenley hates Korto’s stuff, since the things that Korto makes often seem like they did actually originate in the twenty-first century.

Last, both in my affections and this wrap-up, is Kenley. The girl’s got talent; I’m not going to lie. And I’ve got the shape to rock a 50’s style frock, so I really do appreciate her designs. My main problem with her, aside from the fact that she only ever produces some slight variation on one pattern, is that she has the worst attitude of any Project Runway contestant ever. EVER! And this is the show that gave us Wendy Pepper and Santino Rice. I’ve never seen anybody so unwilling to accept criticism and responsibility for her own choices. Self-confidence is great. It’s necessary, and it’s how you advance yourself through life, but too much is just as damaging as too little. Why can’t she just think about what people say to her, instead of mouthing off? If I mute her while I’m waching the show, I am usually much more inclined to like what she’s done.

* I love this designation and will never again say this man’s name without using what is not doubt a contractually-obligated phrase.

What does it take to get rid of that girl?

Kenley is like the Teflon Don, the way she keeps flirting with elimination and annoying the crap out of the judges, only to be reprieved before getting auffed. Why is she still on this show? She’s ungraciously defensive, moderately talented, and supremely annoying. And, of course, I just saw a preview for next week where she dishes up more of the same petty, juvenile behavior that she has exhibited all season. I would be happy to see that promo and take it as a harbinger of her doom, but the other designers were also expressing anxiety and crying on the runway, so it’s too soon to take the pins out of my Kenley voodoo doll. Plus, after last week’s episode, I just knew she would be toast, and she wasn’t, so I have to make an effort not to get too excited.

I didn’t necessarily think that Suede should have gone home for the boring rock and roll outfit that he made Jerell, but I would not argue that, cumulatively, his missteps outweighed those of the other designers. Despite his relentless use of the third person, somehow Suede wiggled his way into my heart (just a little), and I was actually slightly sad to see him go. He’s like that annoying, boozy barfly whose futile attempts to speak in complete sentences and be taken seriously are so funny that you’re a little sad when the bartender finally cuts him off and pours him into a cab before the night is over. Now who’s going to entertain you?

Still, it’s not so much that Suede’s talent is one that I’m going to miss (I’m not saying that he isn’t talented, but I’m not going to lose sleep next week wondering what he would have made if he’d remained on the show instead of Kenley). It’s just that I hate Kenley’s attitude so much, I’m not inclined to be fair or reasonable about anything related to her. Her sense of entitlement is making me ill. I’m all for self-confidence and pride in one’s work, but she takes these perfectly good qualities to unreasonable levels. In Kenley’s world, any time that somebody doesn’t just adore her stuff, it’s not because she’s made a mistake or interpreted the challenge incorrectly, it’s because that person JUST DOESN’T GET IT. She cannot conceive of a universe where her best effort isn’t right the first time out, and doesn’t understand why others don’t love her as much as she loves herself. She lacks perspective and cannot accept criticism in the spirit in which it was intended. How does she expect to learn anything from 1) a well-known desinger, 2) a former fashion magazine style editor, 3) a pretty freaking awesome supermodel, and 4) any number of guest fashion luminaries if she won’t listen to their advice long enough to see how it might apply to her designs? I really admire Tim for even trying to explain to her how her attitude is getting in her way, but I am in no way surprised that she immediately discounted everything that he’d said to her. She’s a brat, and I use such a childish word because she seems to have an attitude more commonly found in 15-year-old girls.

I continue to be impressed with Jerell. He really has made such great strides from where he was at the beginning of the season, and although his attitude sometimes resembles Kenley’s, at least he has the talent to kind of back it up. It would have been really interesting if he’d won four challenges in a row, and his work is such that I would not have felt that Korto was slighted if he’d won tonight. I’m glad that Korto won tonight, if only because that meant she actually cracked a smile on the runway. Usually, she looks like the judges just offered her a choice between the dungeon or a day in the stocks.

Also, I know it’s not fair, but I’m unreasonably excited that there will be at least two female designers officially going to fashion week this year (as opposed to being decoys). It seemed like the women of of season five really had the chops that were mostly lacking in their male counterparts, and I’m excited to see who wins. [Full disclosure: thanks to the wonderful Jezebel, I have already seen the collections of the five designers (those still in the competition, plus Joe and Suede) and know which are in my personal top two, but I don’t pretend to be able to guess what the judges will think.]

Other thoughts:

I’m not even remotely interested in that design show after Project Runway, but the tiny Asian guy with the horrible little voice makes me want to do damage to my ear drums. I know it’s horrible to make fun of somebody for something that he has no control over and that he cannot change, but his voice just bugs me so much. I program my dvr to continue to record for a couple of minutes after Project Runway is over (I’m paranoid about missing something), so this isn’t the first time that I’ve gotten this particularly unpleasant surprise.