What a woman wants

The fourth week of Project Runway starts with the guys talking about stepping up their game, now that the competition is getting harder. Nicholas says that the talentless people are going to get weeded out. One can only hope.

In Estrogenland, Qristyl is talking about how she is the b-i-t-c-h of the show. And I don’t know why she spelled that out, instead of saying it. Is she trying to protect the virgin ears of the younger designers? I really don’t understand anything about this woman, including how she made it this far. And then Gorgana, who is amazing (AMAZING!), succinctly explains that Spell Check’s troubles started because she didn’t stand up for herself early enough. She responds to this assistance by saying, “Anyway,” and completely ignoring Gordana. B-i-t-c-h!

Everybody’s ready to tackle the newest challenge. Heidi meets them on the runway and tells them that there are 13 women waiting for them in the workroom, and the assignment is to make these women happy. Who are these women? Their models. They’re happy, because they don’t have to sully themselves with the deformed bodies of people with greater than 5% body fat. Whew.

They have a decent amount of time to talk with the models, a good budget, and enough time to shop at Mood, so you know there has to be a catch: this is the first one-day challenge. Johnny, “It’s like designing something for myself, if I was a black girl.” I have no idea how to interpret that statement. Some of these girls have awful taste. It’s refreshing.

Watching the designers shop is informative. I could see them trying to incorporate the wishes of their clients into something that still represents them as designers. Spell Check’s model likes warm colors like brown and black, which of course isn’t Qristyl’s aesthetic, at all.

Althea called a smoking jacket, a cigarette jacket. She’s cute! Christopher’s green is GREEN. Wow. Spell Check’s work is a mess, as usual. Logan is unsure about his garment, and it shows. A lot of people are in trouble! Carol Hannah’s dress is cute on the bottom, but may be too old for the model. Oohh. Epperson calls his family, and cries while thinking about them, talking to them, and then back in the work room. How cute! Wow, I really like everything today. This just won’t do.

Spell Check decides to redo her dress entirely. Althea’s model thinks the dress is matronly, but Althea is like, “Whatever, walking hanger. Less of your opinions, more of my handwork.” Qristyl’s new dress is nice, but she’s not sure whether it’s too simple. For her, that’s probably the point at which she should stop. I doubt she’ll see it that way, though.

Logan keeps walking around shirtless. Please don’t get eliminated, please! He is by far the hottest designer. It’s fun to hear the designers try to be objective about each other’s work, because they’re all really opinionated. I like it when, like Irina, they just say what they think, without offering qualifiers.

Heidi is the only regular judge we have this week. Remember when the judges used to care about Tim Gunn’s input? I know that time was a year and a different network ago, but I miss those days. This week’s replacement judges are (not top) American designer Mark Bouwer; Marie Claire editor Zoe Glassner; and costume designer/celebrity stylist Jennifer Rade. Mark Bouwer’s hair is ridiculous and Jennifer Rade has crazy eyes. Zoe Glassner looks like somebody I could laugh with, and is as adorable here as she was in Running in Heels, a show that I never watched. I can’t even take Bouwer’s opinions seriously, because anybody who chooses to sport hair that tragic is immediately suspect in all other matters of judgment. I would like to know why there have been so many guest judges this season. Are Kors and Garcia getting too expensive or something? I miss them.

Amazingly, I didn’t hate Spell Check’s dress. It’s plain, but the back is kind of cute. I do not love Nicholas’s dress as much as he does, but then again, I never do. If self-confidence translated into judges’ votes, then Nicholas would be a three-time champion already this season. I love Irina’s dress. The pattern is doing a lot of the work for her, but the construction is great, too. I wish that I had Shirin’s dress. It’s lovely and that shade of purple is my favorite color. Logan’s dress looks like a cute prom dress. Epperson’s dress is great. Johnny’s dress is also a little prom-ish. The Queen Anne collar on Louise’s dress is amazing. That reminds me that I have a purple dress with that same neckline that I have yet to wear. Parties, my friends!!! Have more of them.

Althea’s three pieces are ambitious, and could go either way. Ra’Mon’s look is just alright, but he has immunity from last week, so whatever. Carol Hannah’s dress is striking. Wow. Not many of the looks that I love made it to the best of/worst of part of the judging. Sorry, Irina and Louise. I hope that your consistently excellent work will be recognized at some point during this season.

Carol Hannah is one of the goods. She says “y’all” and utterly charms Heidi. The key word when judging Logan is “prom.” So I wasn’t alone on that. Also, and this is a direct quote from Jennifer Rade, another one of the guest judges, “You’re really cute, and I like your pants and your sneakers.” You thought I was being shallow before, but I know how this show works! Logan good-naturedly says that he hopes that that factors into the judging. Epperson’s dress is also one of the good looks. I’m glad he was able to rebound from last week. Mark Bouwer thinks the dress is great, and Heidi likes it too, but thinks that the model’s girls should have been hoisted. She then concedes that that might be a product of having modeled for Victoria’s Secret for so long: everything always has to be perky. Johnny is one of the bad looks and one of the judges utters the word “bridesmaid.” Ouch, but I can see it. Qristyl is getting crap for the safety of her choice. Still, it’s better than anything else she’s produced so far during this show.  Her model says that she really likes the dress, which the judges think ages her, but then Jen Rade slams that door quickly by pointing out that the model is a model, and isn’t a designer. I don’t think any of the “no” looks onstage right now is awful, but it has to be Qristyl who goes home. Like Mitchell before her, she’s just appeared too many times in the bottom three. I think that Althea is going to win this one, although the more I think about it, the better I like Carol Hannah’s dress.

Judging: Epperson touches hands with Qristyl as he leaves the stage, and I’m glad to see that their bad blood from last week is cleared before Qristyl has to pack up. Oops! I’m just guessing here, folks, but all signs point to a better-spelled future for this season of Project Runway.  Althea is named the winner and is greeted backstage with sincere hugs and smiles. Carol Hannah and Johnny are told they can leave, so it’s either the bad designer or the hot dude who has to go home.

Gee, what do you know? Qristyl has to go home. Later, Spell Check! As Logan leaves the stage, he tries to give her a pat, which she turns into a hug. He breaks free as soon as humanly possible, as if her crappy design skills are catching. Like every other person who has been kicked off this show, Qristyl KNOWS THAT SHE’S A GREAT DESIGNER, and she has SO MUCH MORE TO SHOW THE WORLD, which she DIDN’T GET THE CHANCE to do, because she was definitely SENT HOME TOO SOON. Did I cover all the cliches? Just how many more chances would she have needed to mess up before this mythical wowing would have taken place? I fear that the average human life cycle does not contain the necessary number of weeks. Anyway, we no longer have to care about Spell Check, because we will not see her again until the reunion show, by which time I almost certainly will have forgotten her. I love reading my old reviews from last season, and realizing that if I passed almost any of the designers from last season, take Keith for example, while walking down the street, I would maybe find his face familiar but not recognize him at all.

Things Fall Apart

Rumble on the  Runway – This is the first episode this season where the designers had to work in groups, so I knew that all of the goodwill of previous weeks was about to go the way of the dinosaur.

This episode begins with a recap of last week, and then shows some of the guys (Ra’Mon, Mitchell, Epperson, and Logan) talking to each other and in the interview room about how they do not want to go home next. I can’t believe that it has taken me this long to realize that there’s no model-swapping this season. Your model is your model, unless you’re eliminated, and then you’re both out. Harsh! That does do away with one source of tension, though. I guess that’s another reason they can have the companion show about the models, but so far I haven’t remembered to watch or tivo it.

On the runway, Heidi tells the designers that they’re going on another field trip. I do not know why those words excite them so, since Project Runway “field trips” usually end up being only slightly less psychologically harmful than the Stanford Prison Experiment. Tim Gunn in sandals and sunglasses?? My life is complete!

The challenge is to create a fun and fashionable look based on surf culture. And of course, because the beach offers limited options for branding, the “seamless” advertising that this show is know for enters with the second part of the challenge: designing the perfect complimentary hairstyle for the model, with the help of Garnier products. I always feel those meetings with

Mitchell’s face when he heard the word team was a little ridiculous. You’d think that somebody who’d messed up so greatly the last two weeks would have preferred to have all the help he could get. Shirin picks Carol-Hannah. Logan chooses Christopher, Nicholas chooses Gordana. Mitchell chooses Ra’Mon, and says honestly that he’s looking for somebody to carry him. Then what was with the face before? I think that maybe somebody’s a little conflicted about needing help so early in the competition… Althea picks Louise, and Spell Check (aka Qristyl), like the bitchy kid who picks second to last for kickball, can’t resist saying “This is tough” before taking Epperson over Irina. Cow. That leaves Irina to work with Johnny, the final team leader. I’ve liked things that Irina made, but most people picked their friends, I think, rather than people who would necessarily create well with them, so I don’t see this as much of a slight. Everybody gives a mock “oooohhhhh” at her being the last person, and it all seemed kind of goodnatured. Not sure how she feels about it, though.

Oh! Nice! The women modeling the surfwear are actually surfers, and are able to look good in the clothes and offer opinions and information about what the clothes need to be like. I appreciate that kind of attention to function, not just form.

Ra’Mon, for his part, understands that Mitchell is pretty much an anchor around his neck. He’s worried that the pairing is going to make the two of them targets for the judges. Understood. Spell Check, living in whatever parallel universe that she inhabits, is offended that Epperson, whose stuff so far has been far superior to hers, is treating their relationship more like a student-teacher thing than recognizing that she’s the leader. Does she remember her dress from the first week?

They have $50 and 15 minutes to shop. This is pretty messed up. They get half the time and the money of the previous week, even though there are two people. And watching the pairs shop is sort of difficult. The facades are slipping! Compromise does take a long time, I guess, and now captains are starting to pull rank. Understandable, but uncomfortable to watch.

I love watching Epperson trying to handle Spell Check’s choices in everything: fabric color, dress shapes, etc. Mitchell is being super rude to Ra’Mon. Unless I’m missing something in editing, he seems to be rude for no reason. He’s not being funny, he’s being a jerk. In the middle of the freaking work, the designers get a message from Heidi and the judges: now they’re responsible for making a second complete look. The second look is described as an avant garde look that will compliment the beach look, and just for giggles, another Garnier hairstyle must be created. What a bunch of jerks. At least they get another $200 and 20 minutes to buy more fabric. The only catch is that just one person gets to go to Mood.

It surprises me that Mitchell allowed Ra’Mon to go. Maybe he just wants to have something he can bitch about later. Aaaand Mitchell can’t sew. This is not a shock to me. Spell Check is a moron, and a horrible leader. Tim Gunn enters the room, calling himself the Prophet of Doom. Although I personally get excited every time Tim Gunn appears on my screen, I can understand how the designers might not feel the same way about him. This time he tells Carol-Hannah that her model has an issue (a commercial), and that she can choose a new model if she would like. So she chooses another model, Valerie, who was eliminated previously.

Gordana really doesn’t love their avant garde look, but she seems to be trying to understand and get behind it. Nicholas is kidding that when Mitchell is eliminated, he’ll help pack him up. It’s not the nicest thing to be joking about, and I sort of feel like most humor like that is at least a little based in truth. I don’t think that anybody on this show is going to lose sleep if Mitchell is sent home. It’s not good that, on top of sub-par design skills, he’s also not pleasant. I don’t really care about the hair styling meetings at all. I don’t know why this guy gets air time. Oh yeah! Garnier paid Lifetime a boatload of money! Still don’t care.

I love that Tim’s critique of Spell Check and Epperson’s design is exactly what Epperson has been trying to tell his partner all episode. Sometimes it’s wiser to yield to better taste, regardless of who is the leader. Tim is not enamored of Ra’Mon’s outfit. It doesn’t go with Mitchell’s. Tim’s parting words: “Work like there’s no tomorrow, because for at least one person, there won’t be.” I’m intrigued by the “at least one person,” part. What does Tim know???

Ra’Mon has to completely scrap the jumpsuit, and at this point I’m almost feeling bad for Mitchell. Spell Check is being a cow to Epperson and bringing up things that really don’t matter “I don’t know what kind of woman you’re used to” instead of maybe listening to him. Everybody can see that those two are not getting along well.

Nicholas to Mitchell, “Are you ready to be in the bottom two again today?” Does Mitchell understand how much Nicholas doesn’t like him? Christopher and Logan seem to be getting along very well and are both happy with their looks. With 35 minutes to go, Ra’Mon is still blow-drying the avant garde look, which he’d just dyed in the bathroom. Wow, there are some really cool looks in this room.

Heidi looks great, as usual. The judges today are Max Azria (love his stuff!), Nina Garcia, and Rachel Bilson, who I haven’t seen in anything in like 100 years. She’s still as cute as ever, though. Spell Check and Epperson’s looks are first. I thought that their beach look was great, but the avant garde look did leave something to desired; as Qristyl mentioned, the poor girl’s butt cheeks were hanging out. Oops. Johnny and Irina’s looks were nice. I didn’t love the beach look as much as Johnny did, and neither did Irina. Hmm. Mitchell and Ra’Mon’s beach dress was gorgeous, but I didn’t love the avant garde look at all. I find it sad that I can’t blame it on Mitchell, but I’m pretty sure that was all Ra’Mon.  Shirin and Carol Hannah’s dress was beautiful, and they made a bathing suit to go under it. Overachievers! Their avant garde look was amazing. I liked both of Althea and Louise’s looks, especially the avant garde dress. Nicholas and Gordan’s avant garde look seems kind of crazy, and I didn’t love their first look, either. Logan and Christopher’s beach look sort of look like the model peed the pants, or at least had a stubborn patch of sand directly blew her crotch and on her upper thighs. Unfortunate. Their avant garde piece is ugly.  I can’t believe they love that mess.

Holy crap. Ra’Mon and Mitchell are one of the teams with the highest scores. This is unbelievable. I kind of love how I spent all episode wondering how they were going to explain their partnership when one of them was on the chopping block, only to have both of them be find. Sneaky, sneaky editors! The other team in the top is Johnny and Irina. They get to explain first, and you can see that their collaboration was a positive one. There’s not jockeying for credit when it’s not necessarily due, and they defer to each others parts in making their looks. Ahh. So maybe the Mitchell/Ra’Mon implosion will still occur.

Hahah, Ra’Mon starts to speak and explain what he did, and Heidi wants to hear from Mitchell, since he’s the team leader. It clearly becomes apparent that Ra’Mon did most of the stuff, and that what Mitchell worked on the most (a swimsuit), can’t even be seen. Then Mitchell had to admit that he did almost nothing. Love it! Especially since the previews were edited to make it seem that Ra’Mon hadn’t done anything, and that he was going to be in danger of being kicked off the show because of it.

Then the people with the low scores come in. Spell Check is willing to give Epperson credit for everything, since it tanked, and the two of them are trying to talk about what happened, and they’re not giving each other a chance to explain. It’s pretty hard to watch, and I still hate Qristyl. Nicholas and Gordana’s looks are easier to explain, because they both believed in them, and didn’t have a bad time working together, which showed.

The judges are gaga over Ra’Mon’s avant garde dress, which I still don’t get, but whatever, nobody asked me. They’re trying to figure out how to judge Mitchell, who did relatively little. They loved the backs of Johnny and Irina’s looks. Nicholas’s design ethic was questioned, and they said that he’d have to watch which prints he used, especially with sexier pieces. They decided that Spell Check was weak and Epperson took advantage. Results coming up soon. So I think that Ra’Mon will win and be given immunity. I think that Mitchell might be tossed out. If it’s not Mitchell, it’s probably going to be Spell Check.

I was right. Ra’Mon won! He has immunity for next week. Irina and Johnny are dismissed, as are Nicholas and Gordana. Suddenly the final three are Epperson, Qristyl, and Mitchell. Oh wait, Epperson is dismissed, so now it’s down to Qristyl and Mitchell. How many times can one person screw up on this show and not have to go home because of it? Answer: three. Later, Mitchell.

I forgot to mention that I’m pretty sure the judges know of (or can see) at least some of what happens in the work room. They always seem to pick at least one look made by somebody (or in the case of teams, somebodies) who are flipping out for one reason or the other. That can’t be a coincidence.

Even better than the “real woman” challenge

Project Runway week 2 – I’m writing this as I watch the episode, so don’t judge me for my use of the present tense!

I don’t know why, but I really like this group of designers. They’re not bitchy yet, and they seem really happy to be with each other and still in the competition. There’s even a level of cooperation that seems more universal that usual. Everybody seems to be getting in on the fun. They seem more functional than previous years’ groups, and I feel like most of them would not annoy me in person. Gordana is awesome, and watching her crack up with Ra’Mon when he said “semester” instead of “trimester” was pretty terrific. Maybe his passion for fashion wasn’t the only reason he decided against a career in medicine.

I’m happy to see a pregnancy challenge. It’s good when the competition goes in new directions in terms of what is being asked of the contestants. I like that the designers are really thinking about what pregnancy clothing means, and considering things like the gap between maternity clothes and regular fashion, and what will be comfortable on a pregnant woman.

It’s hard to hear Ra’Mon second-guessing himself now, when he did so well last week. It’s a shame that he seems to be ignoring the positive comments his dress garnered, and paying so much attention to the judges’ advice against being too safe. I hope he doesn’t shoot himself in the foot by going too far away from where his natural inclination will take him.

Rebecca Romijn is, once again, seeming like the most awesome person ever. I would babysit for her and my eighth grade love Jerry O’Connell whenever…

Oh my god, what is happening on Sandra Bullock’s head in the “All About Steve” commercial? There are no words for how wrong that color/style combination is on her…

Oh, Malvin. He’s talking Ari-talk right now, and I think we all learned how well that turns out. I really really want to like him, but he’s beating the quirk drum just a little too hard right now. Tim’s “cuckoo has already happened,” is pretty much my idea of heaven. He didn’t say it aloud, but you know that sentence was continued in his head as “Bless Ari’s little heart.” I wish Tim Gunn would come to my job and critique my performance. “Oh Nicole. I really want to like what you told that woman, but you know that there’s another edition of that book in storage, right?” I guarantee that I would be more productive and awesome and my ideas would be fabulous. Project Library would rock so much.

Whoa! Look at Mitchell being an underminer. I want to believe that he’s being this way unintentionally, but it seems like a particularly brilliant strategy. “It looks better from back here?” Oh, you cad! I don’t know what it says about me that this made Mitchell go up in my estimation.

While at the hospital earlier today (not for myself) I saw two pregnant women today who were actually in labor (I think my fallopian tubes crossed in sympathy), so watching these otherwise skinny models glide around with their basketball bellies and lack of waddles is sort of killing me.

Qristyl, who smarter people than I have dubbed Spell Check, is super bitchy. I find it laughable that she is the one who is talking about unfortunate choices in style and what is and is not au courant, considering that she was nearly sent home last week for bad sewing and questionable taste. How quickly they forget.

Carol-Hannah is wearing a beautiful dress. It’s halfway through the episode and I can’t remember what her design for this challenge looks like, but I hope it’s as least as cute.

Ra’Mon just mentioned Stella! and Leathuh! What a nice callback. And it’s cool to see that the designers have an awareness of what happened on previous seasons, which we already know, but they don’t always seem to want to acknowledge. This is why I don’t get it when they pretend that they have no idea how this show works. HELLO, you’re on the sixth season already. The time for disingenuousness has passed.

Aw, Malvin way to rally. I appreciate his acknowledgment that some of the other designers have something to show and say, as well. Confidence is one thing, but it is really off-putting when a designer refuses to even acknowledge that any of his or her competition could possibly be playing at the same level.

Now it’s time for the runway challenge! Heidi explains the rules, and that there’s no Michael Kors. Noted designer Monique Lhuillier bravely tanned in his place and then took over his chair. Way to take one for the team, Monique. The judges are all female, and they’ve all been pregnant, and woe is the designer who tries to BS them about a design that is just not working. They shall lay the smackdown with a quickness!

I really liked Logan’s top, but overall thought his design was pretty generic. Shirin, who is probably already my favorite of this season, had a dress that was awesome on its own, and then added a fabulous coat. Somebody must have told her how much I like coats. Nicholas’s model looked like a pregnant streetwalker. Christopher had immunity, but I thought that he took a good risk and his top was great. Spell Check’s dress looked like she threw an orange sack over her model and then cut a couple of holes. I gave her an extra week to gain some taste, but I can see why the judges were concerned about her overall lack of refinement. Epperson’s look is okay. I’m not sure how I felt about the jumpsuit. Louise’s dress was cute, but I think that her model’s belly was more pregnant that some of the others’ and the whole outfit ended up looking slightly comical.  Gordana, as I’ve come to expect, made such a great outfit. Johnny toned down the emotion by a factor of a thousand this week, AND made a beautiful dress. I have a feeling that my love for him will exist in inverse proportion to how much he emotes. I hate hate hate what Malvin made. I feel for Ra’Mon. I don’t think that his dress is amazing, but I would have been interested to see what he could have made if he wasn’t worried about avoiding the appearance of safety. Mitchell’s look is tight and unremarkable. Carol-Hannah’s dress is okay. I like the ruffly jacket she put on top of it, but the draping around the pregnant belly seemed a little trippy to me. I love Althea’s dress, but her model’s girls are barely contained by the fabric, which sort of ruins things. There’s nothing worse than the feeling that one of your boobs could make a break for freedom at any time. You can’t relax in a dress like that. Irina’s dress seemed pretty safe, but was super cute.

I can’t believe that Spell Check is safe. Ra’Mon’s dress had definite faults, but they seemed to be laughing with him, as opposed to at him. That’s okay, right? Malvin, I thought you weren’t supposed to mention the Mother Hen thing. Oh, wait. That was the chicken thighs thing. Oh, Heidi. I love you. Mitchell, the underminer, HA. HA, to you, sir! Too tight t-shirt and too short shorts. They love Shirin like I do. I’m wondering if maybe two weeks of underwhelming is all that Mitchell is going to get. We’ll see. Rebecca mentioned the bowling ball bag thing in regard to Ra’Mon’s dress. Awesome. Hey, I never said that Mitchell was wrong in his critique of Ra’Mon; it’s just that it wasn’t nice. Or helpful.

I don’t know that much is added to the program to hear the judges discuss the top and bottom looks. We don’t hear them say who won, and the editors are trying to tiptoe around accidentally revealing anything before the final commercial break. It’s tedious. Since I can’t find out the results at this point, the only thing left to do is watch how the judges interact with one another. It’s funny when it’s obvious that a judge really likes or doesn’t like something; they’re all pretty much decided on their opinions by this point, and yet they try to convince one another to adopt their opinions. All the tension makes me want to suggest a group hug. Nina shot down Louise’s dress, even though Rebecca quite liked it. I ended up feeling like Nina was questioning Rebecca’s taste for not feeling the same way about the dress that Nina did. I think I found the drama that was missing from the workroom.

Okay, it’s time for them to reveal the winners and losers. Somebody’s gonna cry. I knew that Shirin won when Rebecca looked in her direction. It would have been cruel to look her way and then say that Althea won, and my imaginary friendship with Rebecca could not have survived such a Meredith Viera-like move. Yay!! Ra’Mon is in. Okay, is it going to be crazy or sloppy that’s out? I think that crazy is going to live to work another day.

Am I right?

No. Continuing their streak from last week. Mitchell barely manages to survive the competition, and the oddball designer gets the boot. Sorry you got auffed, Malvin. You were fun to watch, although you probably couldn’t have realistically lasted much longer than week 2, anyway. I guess Lifetime is less accepting of crazy contestants than Bravo. I wonder how long Santino, Wendy, or Angela would have lasted if they were on the Lifetime version of Project Runway…

Project Runway Withdrawal

Despite the fact that Season 5 of Project Runway was not as compelling as earlier cycles, I miss the show. I miss ragging on Kenley, disdaining Suede’s overuse of the third person, oohing over Korto’s colors, and being completely blown away by Leanne’s visions. I am sad that there’s no more Top American Designer Michael Kors to make jokes about “Becky Home Ec-y” and whatnot, and Nina to be so unimpressed that she had no words. Now that the show is over for an undetermined amount of time, what’s going on in the PR universe?

• NBC Universal’s lawsuit against Lifetime TV has moved to federal court!!
• Entertainment Weekly does a Q&A with Leanne Marshall, Season 5 winner
• Chloe Dao (looking HOT), showed her new collection, seemingly to great approval

Showdown at Bryant Park

The Project Runway season 5 finale aired tonight, on the same night as the final presidential debate. I don’t know what to say, other than that whoever schedules the debates should be fired. You should not force the electorate to choose between two viable options. Thankfully, in this election, television is the only venue where this is currently an issue.

It seems that Kenley found the brattiness that she had APOLOGIZED for and toned down last week. Not that I thought she was being genuine then, but tonight she didn’t even bother to pretend. Cow. So anyway, she got on Leanne’s last nerve when they were picking models, and I can see how having Kenley’s delusional self trying to define your line for you and cast your fashion show might make you want to do her bodily harm. I just don’t get how Leanne restrained herself. Along with the wild overconfidence in her own designs came the other thing that she hid last week: her total contempt for Tim Gunn. Kenley was as rude and defensive as ever, and I can see that Tim washed his hands of her completely; he said his bit, realized that she was ignoring him, and walked away with an eye roll and a funny look at the camera. It it were either of the other two designers, I might have thought that that was the “Girls are weird” look, but since it was Kenley, I’m pretty sure it was more along the lines of “Bitch crazy.”

I liked Korto and Leanne’s more measured responses to Tim Gunn. She listened to him, and thought about what he said before commiting to a course of action. WHOA. Kenley actually did think about what Tim said, and changed something accordingly. It was never an issue of doing exactly what Tim said, but at least just listening to what he said.

And Korto decided to scrap two of her looks, which means that she had to design two new outfits during their work week. That is just nutty! During the prep parts of the episode, they kept showing her working on her new dresses. I feel like that should have been a better way to fix what she’d done, without creating two entirely new looks.

Now we’re off to the makeup part of the day. BORING! I like to wear makeup, but I don’t care about hearing the designers plan their models’ faces. It did crack me up, though, that Kenley wanted her models made up like pinup girls. This is my shocked face. Hair was also terribly uninspiring. I understand that designers have to think about every part of their models’ looks, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to find all of it interesting.

LOL. Kenley and Leanne interviewed about each others’ collections, and they both hated what the other had done.

Oh my goodness, there was a dog in the work room. I was wondering what would happen if the dog pooped or peed on a design, but thankfully she only did it on the floor. Which was bad enough, but then the model cleaned it up while wearing one of Leanne’s dresses! Nuts! I am impressed that Leanne didn’t have a nervous breakdown right there, because I know that I would have lost my mind that happened to me.

On the morning of the show, the designers got up super early (it was still dark out when they got to the tent), and they talked about their nerves and hopes. Plus, they were all stoked that their families were in attendance. I was actually excited for all of them! But Oh! No! One of Jerell’s uglyass tree headbands was growing right out of Kenley’s head! All three designers were given fashion students as assistants, and Kenley talked about how hers were not allowed to touch her hand-painted dress, because she was the only one who knew how to handle and iron it. So of course the next shot is of Kenley allowing the dress she was ironing to fall to the floor. Way to show ’em, Kenley! Then, when were done laughing at Kenley, there were shots of celebrities, like Michelle Trachtenberg, and former contestants, such as last season’s winner Christian Siriano and season 2’s Uncle Nick.

Uh oh. One of Leanne’s looks ended up being weirdly limp and big on her model, so she had to switch her into a different dress. And Kenley managed to make a huge production of fitting the gorgeous Topazio into a dress and basically implied that Topazio was a fat fat fatty. Jerk. Heidi looked amazing (AMAZING) when presenting the designers and welcoming the crowd.  Heidi revealed that Jennifer Lopez was supposed to be the guest judge, but had to bow out due to a “foot injury.”  I’m sorry to hear that the former Flyy Girl was injured, but thank goodness it did not prevent her from kicking butt two days later in the Miami triathlon. I’m glad to know that it’s more taxing on one’s foot to sit down and judge a fashion show than it is to complete a triathlon. Going on this logic, I’ve decided that I will go out and win the Ironman just as soon as I recover from uploading this post.

So I have no respect for Jennifer Lopez for backing out at the last minute with such a flimsy excuse, but I love how Tim Gunn ended up being the guest judge. The designers, as you might expect, were not happy to have someone so knowledable about what was NOT good about their collections be the fourth judge, but I had to rewind a few times because I loved it when Kenley said, “Are you kidding?! Okay, maybe I should have improved my attitude.” Kenley? Realizing that her poor attitude might have screwed her out of winning this competition? Priceless! Tim said that he wouldn’t hold anything that he already knew against the designers, but I wonder how well he’ll be able to distance his judging from what he already knew.

Kenley went first. I didn’t love her collection, but it was well made and I totally believe that those pieces were her dream wardobe. I think she did an excellent job of realizing her vision, even if I wouldn’t want any of those clothes. Okay, I take it back, I’d wear the hell out of the little black dress and that cream dress with the flower pattern crossing diagonally across the front.

Korto’s collection was second. I loved most of it. I’m not sure about the longer of the new dresses. I loved how into it Korto’s relatives were. I appreciate that every item is something that would look good against my skin tone (I know that I would not necessarily look good in a lot of that).

While I loved loved loved Korto’s collection, Leanne‘s was just a different level of awesome. Her stuff was just so interesting and flattering, it’s like she was in a different, more complex competition. It wasn’t even fair to poor Kenley and Korto. Leanne definitely got the largest applause.
After the runway shows, former contestants and judges weighed in on whose work they thought was best. Chris March and Rami liked Korto (which surprises me; I would have pegged Rami as a Leanne kind of guy), Uncle Nick thought that Leanne’s work was ready for Elle Magazine, and Daniel’s endorsement of Kenley’s work showed that his taste has in no way improved since he was auff’d. Fern Mallis congratulated Kenley, but I’m not convinced that Kenley is the only one who received congrats from Ms. Mallis. I think this was a case of judicious editing. Nice try, editors, but we know that nobody in their right mind would have preferred Kenley’s collection to the other two!

The judges were kind to Kenley, and complimented her hand-painting, although the only negative thing that they said was that one of her dresses resembled Balenciaga. Kenley conceded that she needed to learn what’s going on in fashion, so she doesn’t keep recreating the looks of other designers.

Korto’s collection got mostly high marks, and the judges complimented how she wove her heritage and point of viwe into what she did, although they thought that some of the pieces were still overworked.

Leanne’s collection was praised for the diversity of her looks, but they were concerned that she had too many petals, and that it was too one-note. True, but they were so beautiful. I can see why the judges were concerend about how that would translate to the 40-look collection.

It was great to listen to the judges decide who won. I’m really glad I didn’t watch this live, or else I might have puked from nerves. I don’t know how the designers stood that kind of pressure while waiting for the verdict.

Kenley was out first. This is what I expected. She did not take it well. I expected this, too. Yay! Leanne won! I really thought she must have when I saw the collections last month, but it’s good to have confirmation. I felt bad for Korto and (to a lesser extent) Kenley, and I really wish both of them awesome, fulfilling careers in fashion. How much do I love the fact that Leanne had to record a Saturn commercial pretty much immediately after winning? So so much! She’s super crunchy and from Oregon and you know she probably doesn’t even drive (non-drivers, represent)!

This wasn’t the most exciting season of Project Runway ever, but I did end up enjoying it and the way it concluded.

The one where everybody cries

So Project Runway may not be leaving Bravo for Lifetime. Hallelujah! I don’t want my fashion tainted by association with women in danger and endless Tori Spelling movies.

The four remaining designers were really stressed out this week, in their final runway show before New York Fashion Week. Their challenge was to create an evening gown, and everybody felt the pressure. There were tears and mini breakdowns and bleary eyes and glasses instead of contact lenses, and it was pretty much awesome. All of anti-Kenley hostility that has been simmering for the last several weeks kind of exploded tonight. Leanne, Korto, and former Mean Girl Jerell all made very little attempt to hide their contempt for Kenley. As usual, it was pretty impossible for me to feel bad for her, since she caused a lot of this with her poor attitude and misplaced sense of superiority.

The other designers and the judges all made mention of her attitude, and she basically acted as though the lot of them were making it up. Top American Designer* Michael Kors had it right – how well is Kenley going to in an industry where one’s creative vision may not be appreciated or shared by those on whom one depends for one’s livelihood? Not everybody is going to agree that Kenley is a genius, and she should probably be prepared to think about criticism and evaluate its relevance before dismissing it completely. I like how the guest judge this week, Georgina *married to one half of the bazillionaire duo who produces this show* Chapman was like, “I do not see what I thought I would,” about Kenley. There were no floral prints or 50’s shapes, but the defensiveness was there and Mrs. Bazillionaire still seemed singularly unimpressed.

So what did I think about the way the judges chose to end this challenge? I thought it was pretty darn awesome. Why? Because it’s tv! Drama is always appreciated, as long as it’s is somehow justifiable and not just for the sake of being dramatic. Kenley and Korto have made enough great things on this show that it makes sense that neither of them would be easy to send home. I think that I have been inspired by Heidi Klum, Nina Garcia, and Top American Designer Michael Kors, who have been on the receiving end of several of Kenley’s eye rolls, sighs, and ridiculous responses, and still thought that she deserved a chance to compete for a spot at Fashion Week. I also like that nobody gets to rest on his or her laurels. It would have been easy to do what they did last year and only have two people compete for the final spot, but this adds intrigue and an extra bit of motivation that Jerell and Leanne might otherwise be without.

I always like to see what the designers can come up with when they have much more money, time, and sleep to bring their vision to life. I can’t wait for next week, because it’s always fun to see how time away from each other and watching the episodes at home influences how the designers interact when they reunite for the clip show.

The designers:

I really am impressed with how un-ridiculous Jerell’s stuff is of late. Sure, his dress tonight did need a bit of work, but compared to what he was cranking out the first few weeks of this season, his improvement is nothing short of inspiring. Like Kenley, Jerell has been known to talk smack and offer a mean running commentary about others’ work. Unlike Kenley, Jerell’s work mostly backs up that talk.

There’s a special place in my heart for Leanne, who managed to fight her way out of thin, brunette anonymity to become recognizable not only by her face but also by her interesting designs. She’s another one whose first few weeks of work definitely didn’t seem promising, but I’m glad that she’s stuck around. Her designers are infinitely wearable and show a lot of thought and work. Plus, she seems to dislike Kenley quite a bit, which only makes me love her more.

Nobody needs to be told that I am rooting for Korto, right? I love her sense of color and style, and would happily wear whatever she chose to put me in. She’s funny, but knows how to shut a person up when that is called for. I think it’s telling that Kenley hates Korto’s stuff, since the things that Korto makes often seem like they did actually originate in the twenty-first century.

Last, both in my affections and this wrap-up, is Kenley. The girl’s got talent; I’m not going to lie. And I’ve got the shape to rock a 50’s style frock, so I really do appreciate her designs. My main problem with her, aside from the fact that she only ever produces some slight variation on one pattern, is that she has the worst attitude of any Project Runway contestant ever. EVER! And this is the show that gave us Wendy Pepper and Santino Rice. I’ve never seen anybody so unwilling to accept criticism and responsibility for her own choices. Self-confidence is great. It’s necessary, and it’s how you advance yourself through life, but too much is just as damaging as too little. Why can’t she just think about what people say to her, instead of mouthing off? If I mute her while I’m waching the show, I am usually much more inclined to like what she’s done.

* I love this designation and will never again say this man’s name without using what is not doubt a contractually-obligated phrase.

Poor, dumb, Joe

I always get concerned when people blithely dismiss what Tim has to say, because he often seems to know how the judges are going to feel about a garment. I cringed at Joe’s confidence in his design, in the face of so much serious criticism. Even if he wasn’t willing to listen to Tim, he really should have been concerned at the way the Mean Girls (Kenley and Jerell) gleefully mocked his suit. Would they have done that to a piece that could be considered strong? Doubtful. They were so confident that his design was hideous, and that alone should have made him go back and make some changes.

Kenley seems to be all about trashing people, and it’s hilarious that she has the nerve to talk about anybody else having a limited vision or talent, when she’s clearly making the same thing over and over, too. She has no room to talk, and I like that Heidi sort of called her out on that. The mean girl in me thinks that it will be very satisfying to see what happens when Kenley and Jerell end up turning on each other. That expression on Kenley’s face when she didn’t win was definitely a step in the right direction.

AND WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT MESS ON JERELL’S HEAD??? Dear god, that man is nuts. I can’t believe that he allowed himself to be photographed for a national magazine wearing that crap. It looks like a vine attacked his hair. I hope that gets photoshopped out.

I don’t usually remember what happens in the previews from one week to the next, but I find it amusing that everybody’s commenting on how off the mark Kenley is. I also think they even showed a bit of one of her overly defensive responses, coupled with Tim telling her to ditch the attitude and sarcasm, and I seriously just cannot wait.

Other thoughts:

I kind of loved Nina’s “I will say no more” to Suede. Maybe she’s also sick of his tendency to speak of himself in the third person and knew enough not to engage him in conversation.

Will Korto ever win? I think that her consistent excellence seems to work against her; maybe the judges have come to expect amazing garments from her, and they’re not as highly valued as they might be from another designer.

It seems to me that, in their individual interviews, this group of designers is more likely to focus on the other designers than themselves. I guess a lack of self-absorption is nice, but they don’t ever have anything nice to say about the competition. It gets a little difficult to see such negativity every week. Where’s the love??