Sydney Tamiia Poitier: I love you, but I hate your…

In this, the first ever edition of “I love you, but I hate your…”, I will tackle the conundrum of people I like doing or participating in things I hate. Our inaugural subject is Sydney Tamiia Poitier.

Sydney Tamiia Poitier, I love you, but I hate your show.

There are a lot of things to love about this actress:

• She basically has the easiest job ever of mooching off her father’s fame, due to having his name and all.
• She’s gorgeous, successful, and has boobs and hips!
• She was on two of the best shows ever to appear on television: Veronica Mars and Joan of Arcadia!!
• Her initials are the same as the Stone Temple Pilots, a fabulously awesome band.

There are at least as many things to hate about her show:

• She’s appearing in a remake of Knight Rider. My childhood weeps.
• Life is up against this show, and is not necessarily expected to emerge the victor.
• I’m scared of a world where the 2008 version of Knight Rider is a ratings juggernaut.
• Why are people still interested in a program about a talking, crime-fighting car? This show makes me think less of people.
• Thinking about her means that I think about Knight Rider, which means I think about David Hasselhoff. Please, don’t make me think about the Hoff.

Stupid Internet, ruining everything

Stephen Lewis, a humor columnist at the Murfreesboro Post of Tennessee, wrote an opinion column yesterday that included a song about the Obamas move to Washington. As you may have guessed by its inclusion in this post, this song was not in the best of taste. Mr. Lewis chose to set his “Ode to President Obama” to the tune of “Movin’ On Up,” the theme song to 1970’s-era television show, The Jefferson. Wow, Stephen. That’s Klassy!

Here’s the first verse:
“Well we’re movin’ on up,
To Washington, D.C.
To a deee-luxe pimp pad,
Painted whiiiite.
Yeah we’re movin’ on up,
To the White House.
I’ll be jetting with P. Diddy cross the sky.

Let’s examine the stereotypes found just in those lines (nevermind the rest of the song): We’ve got the missing “g” in “movin,'” because when you’re a black, Harvard-educated lawyer planning at least a 4 year squat in the White House, the last thing you’re thinking about is saying your words properly. Then we’ve got “pimp pad” (I’ll excuse “deee-luxe,” as it is in the original song). Because every black man aspires to being a peddler of women. And of course, what’s the point of being famous and black if you can’t hang out with P. Diddy? Nothing says you’ve reached the zenith of the American political establishment more than hanging out with Sean Combs.

Because newspaper articles on the Internet has the opportunity to reach readers around the world, Mr. Lewis’ stupidity did not stay limited to the Volunteer State. By Monday morning, this article, which initially appeared in the Sunday edition of the Post, was making the rounds on the Internet, offending latte-drinking, arugula-eating leftists and beer-swilling, gun-toting rightists alike. By Monday afternoon, the editor of the Murfeesboro Post, Michael L. Pirtle, had issued something resembling an apology. Here’s a link to Mr. Lewis’s column, with the editor’s note of the usual passive-aggressive sort apologizing “for any offense generated” by this column.

Help create the next Barack Obama

You can help set in motion the events that could produce the next Barack Obama. How? For the low, low amount of $10, you can donate to Nothing But Nets, an organization that provides refugee children in Africa with an anti-malarial net that protect them from deadly disease. But what does that have to do with Barack Obama, you ask? Well, with that net, some nice young African man or woman can stay alive long enough to attend school, come to the United States to further his or her education, and marry some American person. Then, in four and a half decades, that offspring could become our next commander-in-chief. So, as you can see, the real winner here is us. If you’d like to donate through my team (which isn’t even a real team, but I’ve always liked signing up for stuff), click here. If you’d like to start your own team, you can do that, too. Please at least check out the Nothing But Nets web site, if you’d like more information or if you’re thinking about giving.

But does he have the big Mo?

So North Carolina has been called for Barack Obama, too, meaning that Missouri is the only remaining unclaimed state. The Associated Press, via the Boston Globe, announced this with a bit of a flourish.

For those of you who can’t be arsed to click the above link, the final paragraph in the article reads as follows:

So Obama has not just redrawn the map. He’s printed an entirely new one.

Pretty sentiment, if not particularly objective or news-like.

Senate news

We know what happened in the presidential election, but what happened in some of the other races I’ve been following?

First we’ll start with the good news:
Elizabeth Dole, hate- and fear-monger extraordinaire, was defeated by her opponent, Kay Hagan! I’m proud of North Carolina not only for ousting Dole, but also for going for Barack Obama (maybe)!

Then we’ll go to the meh news:
Frank Lautenberg, 84-year-old incumbent Democrat Senator, easily kept his seat in New Jersey. This means that he will be 90 years old at the next election. That’s super freaking old. He’s done a good job, so I hope he keeps it up, but I don’t understand how so many people who could complain about a 74-year-old presidential candidate could in good conscience elect a senator who is a decade older.

Then the “aw crap, Minnesota” news:
Norm Coleman defeated Al Franken by just over 700 votes. I try not to hate on those who vote for third party candidates, but seriously Minnesota, wtf? If even one thousand of those chuckleheads had voted for Franken, this would be a whole different day in Minnesota. There’s going to be a recount, so maybe there’s some hope, but I’m not holding my breath, since they say that a definitive winner may not be declared until December!

Michele Bachmann, who famously suggested that the media should reinstate McCarthy-era investigations into the patriotism of politicians, easily kept her seat. There is no justice. While I would have preferred it if she lost, and lost big, I would have hoped that any victory of hers was hard fought. I hate the idea of someone this bilious feeling as though she should keep behaving in this way and saying the kind of insane things she usually says.

What the world is saying

Here are some international reactions to Barack Obama’s election as the 44th United States president:

• Argentina (in Spanish)
• Australia
• Brazil (in Portuguese)
• Canada
• China
• Costa Rica (in Spanish)
• France (in French)
• Egypt (in Arabic)
• Germany (in German)
• India
• Indonesia
• Israel
• Italy
• Japan
• Jordan (in Arabic)
• Mexico (in Spanish)
• Nigeria
• Russia
• South Africa
• South Korea
• United Arab Emirates
• United Kingdom

Hell yeah!

I didn’t want to play Jinxy Jane yesterday, but I’m glad that I can now, without reservation, say that Barack Obama is the president-elect of the United States! I was asked at the party I attended last night, with all possible apologies and courtesy for the question, what Obama’s win meant to me, a black woman. And I have to say, I’m not sure whether I am approaching this from a place of racial pride. I have a lot of things going on right now. For the first time, the presidential candidate who I voted for won. I would have been happy if the new president-to-be could simply speak English, and instead we got somebody who is a captivating speaker, capable of raising people to almost religious levels of fervor and devotion (I think that sometimes it’s overdone, but it probably isn’t his fault that he is so charismatic). Plus, it’s exciting to know that the country will be run by a young guy, one who is certainly at a very different place in his life than I am, but who hasn’t been alive in eight different decades.

I find it moving to watch really committed Obama fans from all walks of life expressing such jubilation at his win. Walking back to Port Authority last night from Murray Hill, I saw so many people who were practically vibrating with happiness. On 5th Avenue, in front of the expensive stores, people spontaneously raised cries of “Obama” and “Wooooo!” People were so happy, and even the cops were smiling! I didn’t see one place where there was even a hint of trouble or unease. Everybody was too joyful to cause any sort of problem. I watched white people, young and old, cry tears of joy over the election of a black president. I looked at Obama and thought, “In a little over three decades, that could be my nephew.” I don’t believe that this proves that anybody in American can be anything, but I believe it moves us closer to that point than we have ever before been.

Out of the mouth of babes

I am now cracking up at Satanski, my 3 year-old nephew, who just said to me, “Tomorrow, when Barack Obama wins, I’m going to have a party!” I am guilty of fearing a jinx, but I don’t mind if he feels comfortable enough to say it. Never let it be said that I inflicted my neuroses on a minor (I almost called him an innocent minor, but that would be going too far).

Vote!

Hey, Americans! Get out and vote your conscience! Remember that there’s more going on today than voting for the next president of the USA. Make sure you know what other races are going on in your area, and if there are any law changes/Constitutional amendments/referendum questions you need to think about.

I voted at 6am and am now a little tired. I shall have to take a wee nap before work!

Burn!

(Why do we use extreme temperatures to illustrate that something that is really bad? At first, I almost called this post “That’s cold.”)

So it turns out that maybe the Weinsteins and Lifetime had a point, and NBC Universal/Bravo didn’t want to pick up the option on the new season of Project Runway. So why the delay, then? Um, maybe because Bravo has a Project Runway knockoff in the works and is using this injunction to get a leg up on their competition? Machiavellian. Bravo, indeed.